Idk if I want to marry my boyfriend
My bf and I have been together for about three years. We officially became a couple after getting to know each other for about a month and I feel that it was a little too fast, but now I’m 3 years in and talking about marriage.
I love him a lot, that I know for sure. But I can’t help but wonder if he is the one for me. Yet, I can’t bring myself to break up with him because we’ve got so much together now and his family literally treats me as a part of them already.
One of my concerns is the fact that I am not S-ually attracted to him. I fantasise over other guys (I do watch porn, and I think it’s fine for girls to watch? I mean, if he can why can’t I?) but he doesn’t turn me on and I don’t enjoy having S with him. However, I love cuddling with him, spending hours chatting, watching dramas, hanging out, or even just lying next to him holding his hand. I just don’t want to have S with him. Is there a problem with me? I love S but I just can’t bring myself to do it with him… This is why I’m wondering if he is the guy I should marry.
Another thing is, I no longer feel a spark with him like when we first started dating. When he used to touch me or kiss me my heart would skip a beat, but now it feels like something we just do and I don’t feel anything. I only love cuddling with him and that’s the only time I feel the most – security, comfort, love and all.
Apart from S-lly compatibility, everything else is fine. We don’t fight, we’re like an old married couple who spends time engaging in activities together, exercising and all, is this normal?
Should a relationship be entirely comfortable or should it also make me feel excited and make my heart skip a beat all the time?
I don’t think another guy can make me feel as secure, as safe and as comfortable.