My partner gave me an ultimatum to propose or leave and now I’m engaged, miserable and everyone else is so happy for us.
I [31m] have been with my partner [30F] for about 2.5 – 3 years now.
While on paper she is amazing (used to model, super intelligent, high earner, great family) I wasn’t that happy for some of the relationship. I kept thinking what is wrong with me, it must be my fault that I’m not happy etc. And the more I explored it with a therapist I think it’s because she can win every argument and control most situations and I felt like I wasn’t living my best life.
Anyway, during this phase of being somewhat unhappy she really wanted to crack on with life and get married. She told me she wanted to get engaged by a certain date this year or all my things would be gone. No debate, no extension. In or out.
Spoke to some friends, most people said don’t waste time, go all in, she’s amazing, what’s stopping you etc. So the deadline came and it was the most awkward proposal as she was pretty much starting to put my things in bags.
Obviously in a highly emotional situation I didn’t want to get thrown out on the streets so I panicked and did it. Not the best moment of my life but if you can imagine your partner putting your stuff in bags in-front of you with a breakup looming over you, I’m sure you can imagine the irrational part of the brain kicking in.
Now all of our friends and family are super happy for us and are super excited and I’m stressed out my mind. No one knows the truth about the ultimatum and I can’t tell anyone
And obviously I’ll be the A-hole if I break it off. Like I just know how disappointed everyone will be.
I’m hoping that I become happier again and this all blows over but who knows.
Speaking to a therapist on Monday