My sister got engaged two years ago but they are saving (very unsuccessfully) for a bigger wedding. They wanted to get married this year but couldn’t pull it off, it’s they delayed it for another year (same as last year.)
My boyfriend proposed a few months ago, and we want a small backyard wedding. We set the date for July 15.
My sister asked me to delay our wedding until after hers. I asked her if she can’t pull off her dream wedding next year, would she at us to delay ours more.
I can’t believe I’m typing this – she said yes. That was enough for me to throw out her ridiculous request and set the date for July 15 this year.
She is furious. Family members are being dragged in and everyone is on her side. She and her boyfriend have decided to elope in June and this is apparently my fault.
She’s apparently devastated that she’s being “forced” to give up her dream wedding and scale down so she can get married first and not have her thunder stolen. My family is on her side because she struggling financially and is more fragile than me and wants me to just cater to her wishes instead of “causing a big family drama.”
- It’s so weird when people get weird over things like this. It’s not a race.
- Nobody gets to set rules on when you can get married. That’s just ridiculous. I have zero idea why anyone would think otherwise. And if she wants to elope why does anyone care? If they don’t get a say in her eloping or not why do they think they get a say in your wedding? I’d just not invite anyone who wasn’t being supportive. I don’t care who they are.
- Your family sounds like the type of people to ask you to set yourself on fire to keep your sister warm. These “But faaaaaaamily” types really tick me off.
Let her be furious. If your family calls you to pester you about it, say “Our decision is final” and hang up the phone. If they confront you in person, say “I’m not going to discuss this again” and walk away. Lather, rinse and repeat until they get the message.
- Your life and timeline shouldn’t be changed because she has some weird need to be married first. Making big life decisions as a competition is never a good thing. It sounds like if she wanted to be first bad enough she could have opted for a smaller wedding. Just ignore her and enjoy your day!