Hi, I really hope you can post this because I need help thanks…
I don’t like my bf’s father. I’ve been together with my bf for 5 years and recently started spending more time at his place as I started running my own business and don’t have to go office anymore.
His father is entitled, rude to people including me. My bf agrees but he is a more go-with-the-flow type of person and the times he speaks up, things do not end well so I think he does not want to speak up so often but let it slide.
My main concern is what is going to happen when I have a kid. I don’t want my kid to be exposed to someone like that.
I am stuck in a moral dilemma.
I know it may sound ridiculous but I’ve been stress everytime something happens till I feel like crying because I feel very worried for the future as I really don’t want a case where I have to be forced into doing something I don’t like, for example, needing to leave my kids for a night with him for sleep over or something.. I wouldn’t know what happens.
Does any of you out there face similar issue? Can anyone advise me? Thank you very much.
What netizens say:
- I’ve a father who is egoistic, rude and thinks he is always right. Solution? Don’t live under the same household as him. Know that you have the ability to set boundaries and how much time you spend with him.If you are going to marry your bf, you can’t avoid meeting his father. Just know that you can choose how long you want to spend with him and that includes your children too.Also, I’ve found that the “nod and agree everything that he said” method helps so much. Cuz once you agree to everything he says, after awhile, he will have nothing much to say cuz everyone agrees with what he said and there’s no avenue for any arguments to arise.As for your kids, don’t worry lah, unless they spend a copious amount of time with him, they are more likely to be influenced by you and your bf than him.You can’t change the person, but you can change how you deal with the person.All the best!
- If you have always been having a lovely and cordial relationship with your bf I don’t really see what’s the issue here especially the ask here is pretty futuristic in my opinion.What I do recommend here is to evaluate the options especially like moving when both your are married etc. unless some circumstances that doesn’t allow both your bf and you to. However I believe you need to position strategically if there is a want for this.Overall, don’t need to stress yourself unnecessary and manage this accordingly. Do talk and work it out with your bf especially if both of you have the intentions to move to the next stage of life.
- Is your bf close to his father? Cos my fil also cannot make it one. But lucky my Hb not close with him. So even though we stay under one roof, I have two kids btw, my kids never feel attach to my fil. In fact my son don’t really like my fil as well. So all his bad habits never really influence my son. So I think you don’t have to worry so much. Once you married and you move out, you won’t really gather with your in laws unless special occasions.