A Singaporean woman recently posted on Facebook about how she felt like divorcing her husband as she was not in love with him anymore. She felt this way even though her husband was considered perfect and even respected her decision that she did not want any kids. He even bought a condo in Bukit Timah as his wife wanted it and he had to service the mortgage all alone.
Here is the full story.
If your husband does everything right, is it ever acceptable/ethical to suggest a separation/divorce because I’m not as in love with him as I was when we were dating?
I couldn’t have asked for a better husband. He doesn’t drink, doesn’t party, doesn’t smoke, doesn’t go out with friends, doesn’t swear, doesn’t raise his voice, does all the housework, washes all the dishes after I cook (every time), he’s a handyman (fixes everything himself), he’s ridiculously smart but only shows it when I ask for help, he respects my privacy, respects my space, he remembers my birthday, our anniversaries, plans a year ahead to make reservations or to prepare gifts, he’s a great listener with a keen understanding of the times I need help and the times I just want to complain, he stands up for me in front of his really conservative mother, I didn’t want kids and he did but he convinced himself that he also didn’t, maybe for my sake, he bought a condo in Bukit Timah only because I wanted it and he is servicing the mortgage alone… there is an endless list of things about him that makes him a perfect husband.
The only problem is, I’ve lost the sense of excitement with him and it’s starting to feel like he’s my father. He’s also losing his hair and every day he reminds me of my dad. I’ve suggested that he should get a transplant and I will pay for it but he insists that it’s not that important and I should save the money for other things that I want to buy. He never initiated sex, but I always made sure he had it 2-3 times a week, but lately I just feel a bit grossed out whenever we do it.
I know how this sounds. I sound like a bad person. Our life together is great, but it is also very boring. We go overseas at least twice a year together, but those vacations always feel very bland, and I think it’s primarily because I just don’t love him the way I used to love him anymore. My mom told me that having children would probably solve the problem, but I don’t think I am responsible/patient enough to raise a child as I value my freedom far too much. I also believe it is fundamentally selfish to have children because we are not doing it for them (they don’t yet exist), we’re doing it for our own entertainment.
I am running out of options and I just think it is right for me to leave him. He has done absolutely nothing wrong. But at the same time, I don’t feel happy and I don’t know what to do.