My boyfriend of 6 years won’t propose and I don’t know what to do
I (26f) have been dating my boyfriend (26m) for 6 years. I have always been straightforward about wanting to get married one day and when we started getting serious my boyfriend asked if we could wait until after graduation, I agreed.
After college he asked if we could wait until after we both found jobs and I agreed. It’s been over 2 years now and he keeps pushing the time frame back.
I’ve tried having conversations about this but I feel like he just agrees with me so that I’ll drop it. I don’t know what to do next.
I don’t know if he’s changed his mind about me, about marriage, or if I’m just reading way too much into it. Help?
- Talk about it with a specific timeframe.
Not “we should marry eventually” but “At this point in my life and in our relationship, I feel that we should marry next year(s). How do you feel about it?” . Then listen to what he answers.
Anything different than “Yes, let’s do it, let’s discuss a date, let’s discuss the steps that need to be done, what kind of ceremony we want, etc” likely means that he’s not especially thrilled with the idea. Marriage, like sex, requires enthusiastic consent.
You know what you want in your life, how much time you’re willing to wait, what is a deal breaker and what is not.
- He either doesn’t want to get married at all, or doesn’t want to marry you. He keeps moving the goal posts and will as long as you let him. He doesn’t have to propose right now, but you need to know where you stand. Don’t let another day go by without having this talk.