I know this sounds bizarre, But here goes.
I had a friend visit that I’ve known about 8 months. He is overseas a lot so we have not had a ton of interaction, but we have gotten along pretty well.
Everything was going ok until he seemed to wake up in an odd mood. We hung out some,then he had to use the toilet. He was in there about 30 min, then sat on the sofa and started playing games on his phone. I didn’t really think too hard about it. Normal, but,I was right in the next room and I heard him flush but did not hear any water from the sink. Surprised, but didn’t say anything.
Later he offered to help me with some chores. He offered to help me lift 3 large heavy litter boxes with used pine litter to dispose. After, I immediately washed my hands, he however went back to playing on his phone, walked in and out my front door, and then came in and went to the refrigerator to get food.
At this point I couldn’t NOT say anything. “J, have you washed your hands since we went outside with the litter boxes?” He stared at me, looking lost, then ‘No.’ Me: well before you eat/touch things in the kitchen you need to wash your hands, I know there is cat poop residue/etc.”
Him: “Its fine, wouldn’t be the first time I had poop on my hands.”
Shocked, I said “J, that’s unhealthy. You really need to wash your hands.”
Him: It’s fine, I don’t care if I get sick.”
Me: “J, that’s really gross and not okay.”
He just stared at me very angrily and ignored me. A beat.
Me: “J, I really want you to please wash your hands especially before touching things in my kitchen.”
He exploded “wtf! ” While maintaining very aggressive eye contact with me, walked to the kitchen sink, turned on the faucet,put the fingers of one hand in water for a few seconds, and walked away.
Me, stunned: “J I don’t know why you’re acting so strangely but this is really immature. Please wash your hands properly, I don’t want either of us to get sick.”
Him: his body and his decision, walked to the door, stormed out, slammed the door, left without a word.
I was so shocked I could barely think. I got disinfectant and cleaned everything I could remember him touching over the visit.
THEN I remembered that over a holiday last year, he cooked a meal for me and my parents. I was immediately gagging at the collision of past and present incidents and barely made it to the bathroom to vomit.
I don’t think I can trust him ever again. I almost feel like this is friendship ending.I do not understand this hand washing animosity at all.
Considering it was my home, the health of myself/my animals at risk from him touching surfaces/furniture/knobs/faucets etc and just the sheer nastiness of human/animal waste residue being spread everywhere in what felt like an intentional manner THEN throwing out the “my body my choice” before storming out without a civil discussion/ explanation.