My husband married me because he felt sorry for me.
I came from a complicated situation and as a result have no friends or family. My parents never cared about me (abandoned me when I was young), I moved around a lot so it was difficult to make friends.
I had casually dated before him but nothing serious (I was 18 when I met him, he was 23).
I thought we were in love… but I guess it was a one sided thing – which in hindsight is obvious.
I was the project girl from the wrong side of the tracks he wanted to save.
I think he wanted to leave early on, but some mixture of guilt and hero complex he didn’t.
I got pregnant and he committed to me out of duty.
We’ve been together close to 20 years now.
I gave him everything I had to give. I sacrificed my career for his, and to raise our children. I thought we were a team and his goals were mine too, so while our kids were young I put myself through school to acquire a job and skills that would help him start his own business. Our company, to better our lives for our family, I thought.
I feel so incredibly stupid, and beyond heartbroken.
I woke up every day and loved and sacrificed for him.
He stayed with me out of obligation. I was a chore.
There are a lot of things in our history that make it pretty obvious that he didn’t love me, but I was blind to it at the time.
A lot of things make sense now.
I spent 20 years blending my life with his, and now I have nothing. His family, his friends, his career.
I’m back to square one with nothing.
He seems to be fine with the idea of us staying together for the practicality of the situation. I don’t believe that he is interested in another woman, but content with being a workaholic and me being his domestic/business labourer in exchange for financial support. He sees nothing wrong with this arrangement. It’s best for everyone.
I am so devastated. I have never been loved, and likely never will be.
There is something so defective about me that I was doomed to live a loveless life from birth.
I resent him so much for lying to me, and taking so much from me thinking he was helping.
I could have lived a very different life.