I’m a new mommy to be and “MIL” is being an absolute PAIN.
Here’s just a FEW things that are bothering me:
DH (Dear Hubby) and I (both mid-20s) found out that I was pregnant very early on. We told MIL, my mom, and a select few of others.
I am now almost into my second trimester and everyone knows, but not because DH or I have announced we are expecting (I was hoping to create a beautiful announcement after we found out the gender) but because MIL has told everyone she comes into contact with (after I specifically asked her not to.”
This may be just a personal ick or maybe I’m just not used to this since this is my first child but I cannot stand when MIL says things along the lines of “how’s MY baby doing today” “I can’t wait to find out what MY baby is going to be” “I love MY little baby” etc. when talking about the baby that I am creating inside me.
Since becoming pregnant I have been absolutely miserable being that I have been sick every single day (nausea AND vomiting- diagnosed with HG), my anxiety and mood swings have increased, and I am having the hardest time with exhaustion (again, keep in mind that this is my first pregnancy so all of these intense feelings are new to me, fingers crossed the 2nd trimester will be better).
Since this is my first time being pregnant I feel like I just need more time to adjust because my mind and body seem to be freaking out.
I’ve tried talking to MIL about it because she seemed so supportive in the beginning but now she keeps saying things like “I had wonderful pregnancies so I’m not sure what your problem is” “Pregnancy is supposed to be beautiful, I don’t know why you keep saying you’re miserable” …
I didn’t realize we were the same person(????) but it’s almost like she’s trying to shame me for whatever reason; definitely invalidating my feelings completely.
I’m to the point I don’t want to keep her updated and would honestly love to go no contact because I’m just over it. She’s treating me like I’m just an incubator for HER baby and I am SO scared she’s going to TRY to mother my child and undermine my parenting completely.
Am I overreacting? Am I the issue for being so bent out of shape about this? A part of me feels guilty because it is her first GRANDchild but another part of me is wanting to really freak out on her because this will be MY first CHILD.
Don’t know exactly what to say to DH about this since she’s his mom and we were raised differently. I have talked to him a few times but he tells me to ignore her and that she’s just excited because it’s his baby too but my mom is not being like this whatsoever.
My mom is being completely understanding and supportive of me and has not once invalidated my feelings whereas his mom has invalidated my feelings repeatedly and is constantly making me feel like I’m just a incubator and no longer a person.
I know his mom is not my mom so things are different but it would be nice to have support for myself all the way around.
I just don’t know how to handle this gracefully because I am a people pleaser but I can only be pushed so far before I snap.
I know that now since I’m becoming a mom I really need to get out of my “people pleasing” habit and stop keeping the peace while sacrificing my own but I seriously feel another world war coming soon because I like I said, I don’t know how to handle this gracefully.
I will take any advice I can get, please.