(27F) (32M) My wealthy fiancée wants me to be a stay-at-home wife?
My fiancée and I have been engaged for 11 months, and have been together for 2 years. He’s very wealthy, we live together in a beautiful home, and I have been fortunate enough to be supported by him while I focus on finishing my education online.
I have expressed my desire to have many children with him, and he told me that he would only have children with me if I didn’t work, and became a stay-at-home wife, who looked after the children.
I’m very hesitant to agree to this because my education would go to waste, and I’m just generally not sure.
I’m having trouble deciding, thanks for the advice.
- You have to decide if this is ok for you.
Given that he’s wealthy, I’d suggest you both spend some time with a marriage/family counselor you both trust and like.
Negotiate these things with the help of a third party who literally makes this kind of conflict resolution their profession!
- You need to have a proper discussion about what this marriage would look like. Outline a clear set of expectations on both sides.
Make is a business plan. Not kidding. If he’s making you this job offer, what’s your salary? Vacation? Working hours? Medical leave? When will he clock-in to be dad and husband? When do you get to retire and what does your second career look like? When can you start it? When do you work the SAHM part-time? Full-time? What does you annual bonus look like? How does your salary increase given an increase in responsibility and volume?
- Never give up on your career. Nowadays you never know if the marriage will last or if you might have a reason to have to leave someday. If you have a bad situation, you won’t be able to leave if you’re entirely financially dependent on your husband. And yes, your education would also be wasted.