My widow mother want to go everywhere with my husband and I and it drives me crazy
My father died 5 years ago ever since then my mom has been my responsibility. She sold her house and moved into the same neighbourhood as me which I was against from the start.
When my husband and I go grocery shopping or anywhere she wants to come. She calls me first thing in the morning on Saturdays to ask what we are doing. We want to go away for a weekend she wants to come. She calls every night to see what we are having for dinner. If we go out to eat she has to come with us.
I feel smothered here I moved out only a few month before my father died and now I feel like we might as well still live together. I feel like I have to make sure she is fed and she has groceries. If I tell her she can’t come somewhere with us she mopes. I lie to her about where we are and what we are going and I feel terrible about.
I didn’t answer her phone call so she called me 4 more times texted me twice and started blowing up my husbands phone all in the span of 10 mins. We haven’t gone on a honeymoon yet because she keeps saying she wants to come because she has no one to travel with.
She has a part time job and friends there. When I ask her why she doesn’t hang out with them she tells me they are just work friends not real friends.
I can’t take it anymore I am an adult I need to live me own life away from my mother I need space. But at the same time I feel terrible because she is a window and alone. I also feel bad because she my only parent and I need to spend time with her while she is still here or i will regret it for the rest of my life.
The worst part is I have an older brother that doesn’t do anything for her . He’s been to her home once since she moved in. She goes over and she watches his kids every weeknight for a few hours then leaves his house and immediately calls me to hound me for dinner.
I’m so sick of it I don’t know what to do here. I know she is a widow and alone but I need to have my own life. I also feel a bit resentful because I feel like I never got to deal with my dads death properly because I spent so much time and effort worrying about her.