Hi, I(16) had a gf(15) Our relationship was perfect.
As time went, she started dry texting. As a person with trauma from toxic relationships, I was scared. I made sure to check if she’s taking care about herself. Got a message “everything is good”.
After a while, she started hanging out, I respect it can’t be just the two of us, but later, going out w them became more important than our calling when sick. Unintentionally I started checking if she was outside, how long etc. Yes, I was an idiot for this one, it was a huge mistake, but I apologized so much after I knew what I’ve done.
When it became only dry texts, not receiving any compliments and ignoring my needs, I asked what was happening, she said it’s too much school till Christmas. I reminded her that everything is going to be okay and that I’m there.
Recently, I went home after school. To find out she started smoking and drinking, she’s never done that, we both hate these things. I begged her to stop or make it less. Later, I tried to respect it and just say “okay just when we’re not together” and she said it was just a try.
Next day I asked her if she wants to play MC & call (it was our comfort) on which she answered “I don’t have time, I have a sleepover”.I respected that school had to drain her and she wanted to have fun.
Only to find out the next day, she smoke a whole pack with her friend and drank. I begged her to stop, that I want her to stay, there are different ways to have fun, she’s my gf and its harming our relationship, cuz I am scared of these things (cancers in family), on which she only said “idc, dont worry, no” etc. No emotion.
I broke up with her cause seeing cig pics on stories gave me such heartache. I told her mom to take care of her, yes, she’s gonna be mad at me, but I still value her life, she doesn’t deserve any pain in future. For my mental health after this, I blocked her. She never apologized, her last message was dry as hell. Just to find out that after blocking, my friend sent me screenshots of her stories. Someone asked her, if she has time to go outside. The only thing she said was “I always have time” so no school ig.
So cigs and alcohol were worthier, than me, who stayed for months when she was down. After ignoring me, she didn’t give a damn about my mental health.
I think it was her fault for lying and not respecting my fear, but I feel guilty for the way I left her. It was too much on me, I didn’t feel loved the past month. Ive been shaking for past days cuz of it, and she doesn’tseem bad about it. I want her to have happy life. I don’t know why she changed, if it was because of me or idk. I just miss when she cried how much she misses our cuddles, not cigs.
Something is still telling me that I should return, I can’t leave people even if they are harsh. Everyone said I did a good thing, but the feeling of waking up alone is ugh. I still have hope that even if our relationship failed, she change back and realizes what she lost.