My cousin is 25 this year. Academic background super solid—local uni degree, study very smart, book-smart type. But when it comes to basic real-world manners and social etiquette, his standard is literally bottom of the ocean floor. I am not trying to be atas or act like some high-class gentleman, but some things are just basic human decency right?
Context: I’m a few years older than him, and since he’s an only child, I always treat him like my own younger brother. Whenever we go out to eat, drink beer, or grab coffee, 8 out of 10 times I will just pay for everything. I never keep score. I’m the older one, I’m working (so is he), so I don’t mind treating him meal after meal. I don’t expect him to buy me back expensive food or match dollar-for-dollar at all.
But what really killed me was what happened last week at a hawker centre.
We had dinner, and as usual, I paid for the entire meal ($30+). Afterwards, I said he wanted to drink Milo Peng. I didn’t have small change on me, so he bought it first. Total was $2.20.
While we were sitting down drinking, this guy literally took out his phone, opened PayLah, and showed me the $2.20 request QR code.
I was completely stunned. Bro… I just paid $30+ for your dinner, and you want to be calculative with me over a $2.20 drink? It’s not even about the two dollars! It’s the sheer lack of awareness. Normal people would just say, “Eh bro, I buy the drink for you since you paid dinner.” Right?!
This isn’t the first time either. Whenever my parents invite him over for dinner, he will just sit at the table, finish eating, stand up, and walk straight into the living room to play his phone. Won’t offer to clear his own plate, won’t say thank you, nothing. His parents really sheltered him until he thinks the whole world owes him a living and everyone is his servant.
Is this a common thing nowadays among kids who only know how to study and got zero social skills? How to survive in the working world like that? Anyone else got relatives like this, and how do you nicely “wake him up” without causing drama in the family?
TL;DR: Cousin is 25yo with local degree, super sheltered. I always buy him dinners and drinks, but he wants to charge me $2.20 PayLah for a Milo Peng. Zero basic etiquette and manners. How to fix?