I’m honestly at my wit’s end and just need to vent, plus see if anyone here has gone through something similar or knows if I have any legal recourse.
My dad passed away recently after fighting an illness. It’s been tough on all of us, but what came after has completely destroyed whatever respect I had left for my mother.
Dad had a sizable life insurance payout. We’re not talking about millions, but definitely enough to clear off remaining housing liabilities and comfortably fund my polytechnic tuition fees and my younger sister’s secondary school expenses until we both graduate. However, because my dad didn’t set up a formal trust or specify payout splits properly, the entire sum went straight into my mom’s bank account.
The Confrontation
When poly fee deadline was approaching last week, I gently asked her when she could transfer the school fees, and also brought up my sister’s upcoming Sec 2 school expenses and monthly allowance.
Her immediate response? She smirked and told me straight to my face:
“You 19 years old already, big boy liao, go find work and pay yourself. Your sister also your responsibility now. I spent my whole youth raising you two. Now that your father is gone, this money is MY compensation. I need to live my life and have fun.”
I was completely dumbfounded. She literally told me to go do GrabFood or work part-time night shifts to cover my own tuition fees, cover my sister’s school expenses, and buy groceries for the house. Meanwhile, she’s been booking staycations, buying useless branded bags, signing up for random salon packages, and planning trips overseas with her friends.
She Spends Money Like Tap Water
To be honest, I shouldn’t even be surprised. Ever since I was young, my mother was notoriously terrible with finances. She would buy expensive MLM health supplements, impulse-buy random kitchen gadgets that sit in the storeroom gathering dust, and constantly complain that we were poor while spending thousands on her own self-care.
What drives me insane is thinking about my late dad. He worked so hard his entire life, barely spent a cent on himself, and knew exactly how reckless she was with money. I love my dad, but I genuinely cannot understand why he left her as the sole beneficiary without putting guardrails in place for us. Now watching her squander his hard-earned life insurance payout while my sister and I struggle to figure out our basic expenses makes my blood boil.
Where Do We Go From Here?
I’m only 19. I don’t mind taking up part-time jobs to cover my own daily expenses, but having to clear poly tuition fees on top of raising a 14-year-old secondary school student is overwhelming. My sister is only in Sec 2—she shouldn’t have to worry about whether there’s money for her meal allowances or assessment books.
Has anyone been through this before?
- Legal Aid Bureau (LAB): Is there any legal claim for children regarding insurance payouts if the policy named her as sole beneficiary?
- Financial Assistance: What are the best Bursary / PTP (Post-Secondary Education Account) options for poly students in emergency financial hardship?
- FSC / Social Work: Should I approach a Family Service Centre (FSC) or my MP during Meet-the-People Sessions (MPS) to get emergency funding for my sister?
Any advice or guidance would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading my rant.