I realized that I am very ugly. M30
Hello. I just got to 30 and it really just dawned on me that I am very ugly. I never thought that I was attractive, but I thought I would be at least average.
After my breakup with a long term relationship a few years ago, I’ve decided to go to the gym and shape up. It has been a year now and I’m improving, I just need to lose the stubborn belly fat with a strict diet.
It’s my head that’s the problem. I am balding despite being young and my forehead is on the wider side. I kind of look like Megamind with my weak jaw large head. I also have large eyes and perpetual dark circles around them (I look like a raccoon or a Tim Burton Cartoon).
I can’t help comparing myself with other men who either looked normal enough or absolutely gorgeous. It seems some people around me are looking like models and kpop idols while I look like… me. I’m also a bit short, which makes the size of my head comical. I’m trying to bulk a bit so it would not be as noticeable but my baldness is making it difficult. I think I kind of look like a pug.
I have been in two dates in the past three years, and both girls ghosted me after. One of them was a friend from work (although we don’t work together in the same building or compound or see each other often), but she now actively avoids me on the rare times we meet.
A mutual friend told me that she does not like me and I should not bother her anymore (which I don’t), the mutual friend also told me she is planning to set the girl up with someone she knows.
The mutual friend also told me she was surprised the girl even went with me for that first date. So both of those interactions just made me feel that I was absolutely beneath them, which annoyed me at first but later made me realize that she was really out of my league.
I just feel like I am just too ugly to find someone. Besides my physical appearance, I’m also not that good a catch in other matters.
I have a good paying job but I am not rich. I also talk a lot, which my ex tells me is an unattractive quality for a man. I am also very knowledgeable on a lot of topics but I am not at all intelligent.
I also kind of suspect I have ADD or ADHD because of my quirks like spacing out, hyper focusing on random things, restlessness, inattentiveness, and forgetfulness, but people just find me annoying.
I really just want to vent this out since I feel so lost and honestly just tired of it all. I posted on offmychest before and some people just told me I was being a creep. I don’t really have friends that I could share this with