My (31f) boyfriend (35M) left me for an 18 yo and now she’s pregnant
Our romance started out like a movie – I was the maid of honor at my best friend of 16 years wedding and he was the best man, as he is the older brother of my best friend’s now husband. Such a cute setup right?
We clicked instantly and began a relationship a week after we met. He was unlike any other I’ve met before, I’ve never had that feeling of finding “the one” but with him I just somehow knew and he had felt the same way.
I want to stop right here and just say he pursued me, he told me how I was “the one”, endless affirmations that led me to believe I could trust him and see a future together.
I am not a hopeless romantic and I’d say I’m self aware enough to know when someone is telling the truth. There’s so much more I could say but you get the picture.
About two months before our breakup, he admitted he had a problem with alcohol. I was fully supportive of him as I too had the same issue in the past. He managed to quit drinking. Then he relapsed and decided it was best to go quit again.
I did everything I could to show I cared and made myself available any time of day or night for him. He started telling me about girl that he met and how she reminded him of his daughter. He said he felt protective of her.
Again, he left detox but this time things were different. He started to ignore me at first for several hours to days at a time. Every time I’d finally talk to him he’d tell me he’s sorry and he’s going through something right now.
I told him I understood and I respect if he needs his space, but he does need to respect me by at the very minimum just letting me know he’s ok.
Normally, I’d be out the door if any guy did this to me but I figured he really is going through something incredibly tough and we had true love, so we’d get through it together. Ha.
On our anniversary (May 18), he was ignoring me again. I didn’t hear from him until 2pm. “Happy Anniversary Baby!!!!!!!!” He said.
What he said next shocked me to say the least. “Ok well maybe we should just be friends. Don’t sweat it” As if I were some random girl he barely knew, not the girl he had promised he’d love forever.
Everything spiraled after that. I found from my best friend that he cheated on me with the young girl he met. He told his brother he’s so in love with her. Then, she’s pregnant.
Life has been a rollercoaster for me since this happened. I go from heartbreak to anger back to sadness and regret. I gave my all for this relationship and was willing to sacrifice things to make him happy, I prioritized him above myself.
Everyone tells me I dodged a bullet, that it’s a good thing I found out his true side early on, that I deserve better. Sure, I can agree that that’s true. But nobody knows the happiness I felt, how my heart always felt full…nobody really knows.
We went engagement ring shopping. We were looking at houses together. We had future baby names picked out. We were the best part of each others days until we weren’t anymore. We could’ve ended amicably.
It would have stopped my heart from shattering to pieces, it would have taken away some of the hurt and confusion. I don’t wish ill upon him, in fact I hope he finds happiness that lasts. As for me, I know I’ll be ok and if I could say one thing to him… don’t sweat it.