Shaming my dad for becoming a dad again at 50?
My dad had a baby with his girlfriend when he was 50. His girlfriend wasn’t stable so my dad pretty much raised my brother by himself. My brother is now 7. Ironically my son is also 7.
I found it weird and odd and tried to accept it. My dad is now 57 and is more of a sitter than a parent because he doesn’t have the energy that I have as a 32yo.
So my brother spends a lot of time with my family. I have always had a very complicated relationship with my dad.
My dad had a health scare and he told me that if something were to happen to him then he’d want my brother to go with me. I sarcastically said my brother is pretty much with me anyways.
He said it’s not his fault that he had a heart attack and I said maybe not but you had zero business having a kid at 50.
I said no you just can’t keep up and the whole situation is messed up. We’ve barely spoken since that conversation last month.
I absolutely refuse to apologize to him. It hasn’t affected the care of my brother. Me and my wife probably care for him 60% of the time. He and my son are inseparable so that helps.
Edit: I don’t know if my brother was planned or not. They acted like it would be the best thing in the world.
My dad is broke and poor. He was seriously talking about being homeless if his landlord evicts him.
Netizens’ comments
- He’s not stepping up as a parent and you are having to do the work.
- It is what is, right? He chose to have a kid at 50 and your family is having to pick up the slack! You’re a good big brother and a good father!
- but I don’t know if you’re going about it the right way. You want to make sure your brother doesn’t feel any tension as it isn’t his fault he has an older dad. I think maybe you need to chat to your dad and work something out because as you said you are looking after his kid the majority of the time. Just keep in mind your dad might know you are right and hates that he can’t keep up with his kid so could be a sensitive topic.
- If you were still living at home, watching your brother 60% of the time because your dad had no energy, everyone would say he parentified you and had no business having a kid at 50. While I kinda agree with some comments that there was no need to tell him this, I don’t think it’s wrong to point out that his decisions were bad and it’s led to you needing to basically raise your brother alongside your own child.