my (21) dad(56) is dating a girl who is 26. one year older than my older sister.
So long story short my dad wasn’t too present in my life growing up as he was an alcoholic. He had cheated on my mom… the cliche… they divorced… I have been on and off talking with him and last year I cut him off because of personal reasons like how I felt he was overbearing to be around and that he wouldn’t listen to me.
Recently I was looking at my life and seeing how my daddy issues have affected me and someone advised that I should try to rekindle a relationship with my father. So I call him back today and the conversation went great. He admitted to his mistakes and apologized. I felt it was a very mature conversation and I was looking forward. Then he says he’s been seeing someone then I say I was happy for him. I am a bit surprised as he isn’t an attractive individual. I was expecting some older women not very attractive at all but a sweetheart nonetheless. To my surprise, she is not only 26, but very beautiful and seems extremely sweet. I barely spoke to her but I can’t say anything that seems upsetting about her inherent character.
I am very uncomfortable and I fear that my attempt to heal myself only made things worse and now this is going to affect me more as well. I just want to one day be able to be functional in a relationship and secure in myself. As I have a lot of issues when it comes to being with a guy. I become obsessive and lose myself in them. I feel like this put a dent in my want to have a relationship with my dad as I can’t imagine that this won’t overshadow everything. I am happy he found someone but I can’t help but feel how inappropriate this is. I am not speaking to my sister at the moment but I can’t imagine how she feels. My dad is dating someone one year older than my sister. That’s so bizarre. God forbid they have kids. I am not sure how to feel. I just want to get better but I don’t know how to process this.
Is it worth continuing to speak to him if this will continuously trigger me? Can I get over his relationship? Should I stop talking to him again? I just want to be a healthy individual but this has really sent me into a mental spiral at the moment. Let me know what you think.