I frequently hear my 19yo daughter and her boyfriend getting intimate. She calls him “daddy” in bed and it freaks me out. I don’t know what to say to her.
So just to preface my daughter is obviously an adult woman and can sleep with whoever she wants and it’s none of my business or at least I wish it was. I get that she’s not a little girl anymore and that means she’s gonna date guys and do adult things. I get that and that’s okay it’s just she’s really loud and vocal. It makes me super uncomfortable.
It’s been just me and her for about 5 years now and she just started seeing this guy. He’s great! I genuinely like him, he treats her right, he’s respectful to me and he’s even helped with a few jobs around the house I’m getting kind of old for. He’s a great young man and I genuinely hope things get serious and he marries her because even though they’ve only been together a few months because honestly I was expecting a lot worse fro. her first adult boyfriend and this guy made me sigh in relief.
That being said I fully expected they’d sleep together eventually and when talking to my daughter about him I told her if she needed condoms or birth control of any kind and wasn’t able to get the let me know. I got an embarrassed “Daaaaaaaaaad!” out of her but I was completely serious. While the concept of my daughter getting intimate is definitely uncomfortable for me I’d rather make sure she’s being safe and would much rather pay for condoms or pills than a baby. More than that though I don’t ever want her to be afraid to talk to me about anything. As uncomfortable as a lot of this is for me she’s all I got so I gotta suck it up.
Anyway last weekend her boyfriend came over and I offered to throw some burgers on the grill and she said, “No thanks daddy we’re gonna watch a movie.” So I told them okay have fun! Cracked a couple beers open and started grilling. Well when I came inside with the burgers that’s when I heard it. The faint rattling and moaning upstairs. My daughter was being very vocal and at one point I hear “daddy” and it made my stomach drop. I honestly felt really gross. I know that might just be what she calls him and she’s not thinking about me but to be honest I don’t like hearing it either way.
Thankfully due to them being 19 it didn’t last very long but god it made me uncomfortable. I want to say something to her to maybe ask her to not be so loud but I don’t want to embarrass her since I heard her call him daddy. I just don’t want to hear it again so I can pretend she doesn’t call him daddy.
I left for awhile and texted her and said, “Walls in this house are thin. I’m going to the store for a beer run. Do you or daddy need anything?”
She texted back while I was checking out and apologized profusely and was obviously super embarrassed. I told her it’s fine, I don’t care what they do, I just don’t want to hear it for obvious reasons. I also made sure they’re being safe. She’s on the pill and he’s wearing a rubber so that’s a load off my mind on top of everything else. Other daddy even made a point to apologize to me in person when I got home. I told him since they’re being safe and he’s good to my daughter he’s got nothing to apologize for it’s just awkward for all parties involved. I asked if for now they could refrain from doing it here. I think I need to step up my plan to replace the insulation in this house.