Recently she is being upset that I am not able to be like “ other girls “ like be romantically successful and be pretty enough for boys to like me or something. Apparently, she put my photo in arrange marriage portal and nobody liked the profile enough to contact her so now it’s my fault. I mean it’s not just looks that matter in these portals.
So I am trying to lose weight as of now not necessarily for beauty reasons but for convenience purposes. This on the whole doesn’t seem bad except for the stretch marks it will obviously leave.
I personally don’t care much and since I stopped having S altogether I have let gone of worrying about these things and all.
Then enters my mother who cannot fathom that I want to be myself . It’s always “ You would get a boyfriend just wear make up “ and I politely tell her I already and expecting the men who know me long enough to suddenly go gaga because of some foundation and lipstick is quite silly in itself.
She just can’t fathom that I don’t fit conventional beauty standards and that I don’t want to do so since I made peace with it. It’s not worth the time and effort in a manner of speaking not to mention money.
Now she tells me I need to save up for scar removal once I lose weight because it will be impossible to find a groom otherwise. I am just so defeated at this time and I am fully triggered into depressive mode