I have 2 siblings, Tiff(late 30sF) and Dan(late 20sM) (fake names). Tiff has her own family and doesn’t live with Dan and I at our parents’. Dan has been very buff since young and loves to show it, when I reached the age when puberty hits the hardest, Dan constantly mocks my physical look, it can be from the facial to body. I wasn’t big sized, just on healthy weight range, but not hourglass figure.
It really got to my head and my only wardrobe was baggy clothes and nothing else, I avoid skinny fit clothes whenever possible. I try not to let it affect my regular diet but occasionally went into a small phase of ‘diet’ period that luckily was stopped by Tiff as soon as she finds out, usually when she visits us. (She did try to block out the negativity whenever possible)
When Dan entered uni, he gained weight, he claimed to be very busy studying but his socials says otherwise as I see parties for half a week instead of his regular mirror selfies at the gym or study things. By the time he finished uni, his clothes has increased sizes from maybe a M to a XL and it’s noticeable.
Our parents did note it but he claimed to be stress eating so they didn’t press on it as he passed uni with flying colours.
When I entered uni, I, fortunately, met a group of extremely fit new friends at a common lecture hall used by fitness & sport students, so with Tiff’s encouragement, I approached them for help in being fit overall to find my own body positivity.
Tiff did a photo-taking of me every month so she can show me before and after to further encourage me to continue the path. Within 1.5years, there was a big positive difference so I started to venture into a new wardrobe inspiration that involves skinny fit clothes.
When I came out of my room last night wearing skinny fit jeans with a baggy top fashion to show Tiff. Dan looked at me head to toe and commented a “your backside is still flat like an iron board”.
I flipped and commented on his size and laziness in his entire time at unit and that up until now he still haven’t retain his ‘former glory’ so doesn’t have the rights to talk about mine at all. It was quite a argument that our parents got involved.
Tiff had to take me to her place to separate us and now Dan must have went around telling people that I fat-shamed him as my phone has been blowing up. Many did say I went overboard and my parents said I stooped too low. Tiff told me to hold my ground and that I don’t have to apologize since he never did.
I just felt unfair that when I endured his mocking for almost half of my life and when I just turn the tables this one time, I’m the bad guy. But I also realised I have became just like Dan at that moment and I should’ve taken the high ground and ignored him.
Now I’m quite conflicted about this so I thought it would be better to reach out for strangers’ thoughts.