Kicked out for turning down a hook up and it really hurts
Last night I was hanging out with a friend when we started getting intimate. We’re both 21. It was our second time hanging out, and I have known her for quite some time because she was dating a friend for almost a year.
Anyways, we were making out in a pool and she told me she wanted to f me, and I tried to explain to her that I was super flattered and think she’s attractive, that I usually wait a bit longer because I’m shy and I get anxiety and deal with some trauma, and I just prefer to warm up to someone, and would be down in the future if we kept hanging out.
She had brought up her own trauma before way more than me so I thought it was cool. She got really quiet and had us immediately go back to her place, and then she suddenly asked me to leave, point blank and super coldly, and she hasn’t texted me since.
It hurt pretty bad because this has happened to me a few times before and it feels like nobody wants to associate with a man with pain.
It feels like I’ll never meet someone who’s just willing to wait before f-ing each other and that I’ll be stuck in this cycle of anxiety forever.
This has definitely made my anxiety worse. I don’t know what to do, I feel hopeless. I feel like giving up.
Netizens’ comments
- Sounds like you’re a genuinely good guy. Stay the way you are. The problem is with these emotionally stunted girls you hang out with. No one (male or female) should pressure anyone into doing something they don’t want to.
I’ll also add, having a genuine connection with someone makes for a better experience too. You’ll find the person you’re looking for. - I think you may have answered your own question. Perhaps she has her own hangups and let her guard down with you, only to be turned down, so the feeling of rejection was a little more than she could handle.
Not fair of her to put that on you or not explain herself, but it would also be understandable.