Deciding to go childfree in Singapore
Given the rising cost of living, I’ve seen my household expenses (married, no kids) go up by more than 50% since pre-covid. We are frugal in general, but rent and transport expenses have really gone up much faster than our income.
It is at a point where I cannot fathom having children – on top of childcare expenses, helper, increased medical costs etc etc, I project it will easily double or triple my expenses.
Conversely, if we decide to go childfree, I would feel pretty good about our financial position. We would comfortably be able to plow our excess savings into really nice vacations, hobbies, etc and still be a lot less stressed out financially.
Are there any other Singaporeans in a similar boat? Thankfully, my parents are pretty open minded and have not really pressured us to have kids.
At this point, it really feels like this would be the right choice for us, though I do have a nagging worry that if I regret this decision down the road, it will be too late to reverse it (because biology…).
Netizens’ comments
- Feels like our economy is reaching maturity, with little ways for growth other than bringing in foreign money and pushing productivity through skilled human capital. It is so becoming so competitive here that living in Singapore as a child is miserable. Next major exam to the next and constantly living thinking that it will get better after each but it never does. Not sure if I want to put a kid that doesn’t even have a choice into this rat race.
- I’m firmly childfree and will always be, regardless of the economic situation. more for practical reasons. I assume some people “just want kids” in much the same way I don’t. Everything that sounds good to them, sounds terrible to me.
I don’t see any pros, as even the common “pros” are cons to me. I enjoy having the flexibility to choose to zone out on the internet, watch netflix, go for a run, take a weekend trip, or work a load of hours — I’m not required to make myself completely available to care for a child.
I like the option of working. I like not having to pick up my mess for a couple days. I like traveling without taking weeks to prep. I will get less pleasure from raising a child than just living life on my own with my amazing partner.
We can go places spontaneously, stay out late without pissing off the babysitter, and get to sleep in on the weekends. I love the flexibility of limited commitment.
I never have had a maternal instinct either. I didn’t play with barbies that much as a kid. Before I realized that having children was a choice, I assumed I’d have kids — but when I understood that having kids wasn’t a requirement, I chose not to ever want them.
I’ve seen many examples of parents neglecting their kids because of regret
My life has been so fulfilling with working a job that I love (that pays enough for me to travel every 2 months), and all the voluntary work I’ve done with non profit orgs on the side.
8 years ago I led a project to fund, build, and staff a school for underprivileged kids living in Indonesian shanties to go to for free, that’s still up and running on its own today.
I’ve worked with kids with down syndrome and helped them learn how to ride horses, I’ve volunteered at various dog welfare groups in sg, and I’m a scuba diver who dives to either help collect data for ocean conservation projects or to do underwater trash cleanups within sg waters.
this is what I want my legacy to be. I don’t need to produce a child to feel like i have made a difference in this world. I can make my mark in my own way. I want to be on this planet to at least try to help the people who are already here, not make more of them. - Because deep down, if I wanted kids, it would be entirely because I am scared of growing old without nobody taking care of me. It is entirely selfish.