OLD MAN PATTED WOMAN’S 3 Y.O DAUGHTER ON THE HEAD @ OLD AIRPORT RD FOOD CTR, GETS SCOLDED

Old people touching your kids

Having dinner with my family at old airport hawker today and this man walked past my table and patted my 3 year old daughter on her head.

I told him YOU CANNOT DO THAT (你不可以摸她 in mandarin) and then he retorted why not (为什么不可以 in mandarin) and this went on to and fro for a bit until he started shouting vulgarities and walked off.

My daughter was scared stiffed, she is usually super shy with strangers. I explained to her I was scolding the man for touching her.

Now looking back I’m reconsidering my actions. Did I do more damage to my daughter by causing her unnecessary distress? On the other hand I also know that she absolutely doesn’t like strangers touching or speaking to her.

Would appreciate if parents can share their experiences because I believe this is a common occurrence. Thank you.

Netizens’ comments

1. I think u are doing the right thing. It is very important for kids to remember that they should not be touched by strangers. It’s their personal space and we need to help them guard the boundary.
   I rem during covid, there was an auntie who wanted to sit right next to my kid. But my kid is normally the “dao” type and he will speak up for himself. He just tell her, auntie, now got covid. Pls keep the safe distance of 1.5m. Then the auntie just try to chat with him sitting from a distance.
   But I rem he kind of offended an old uncle who tried to ask him, boy which sch are you from? he refused to answer the old uncle then the old man very persistent, keep asking him why he cannot tell him. In the end my boy got upset and look at him, this is personal information! 
2. A stranger touching your kid, no matter how innocent, is a big no no. People sometimes forget that children have their personal space that we have to respect too. Imagine if a stranger went up to the old man and patted him on his head because they thought he was cute.
   That being said, I wouldn’t have shouted at him. I would’ve simply said “She doesn’t like being touched.” in a friendly manner. I’ve seen old ladies on the MRT pinching the cheeks of young children they don’t know. It’s likely their way of saying the kid is cute. I feel like the old man’s reaction was probably because he thought your anger was unwarranted.