I shouldn’t have to work two jobs and stay in a crappy relationship just to survive.
I’m just so tired. I’m tired of waking up & living with my toxic baby daddy. Whose parents pay his share of the bills & give him spending money so he can blow it on onlyfans and video games.
He doesnt work. I work two jobs and its never enough. I dont make enough money, Im useless, we don’t f enough to keep him from paying girls on only fans to give him what he wants.
I dont see my son enough either. I work one job, 29 hours a week and work retail part time on the weekends and it still isnt enough to live on my own.
Ive tried leaving him, but I dont make enough to even rent a one bedroom by myself. I can barely afford to buy myself a new pair of shoes or a new bra.
Im wearing socks with holes in them to make sure my son has enough clothes to last him because my baby daddy wont spend on things he finds “unnecessary” and i guess making sure our shared child has clothes and enough diapers and formula is considered unnecessary
Ive tried talking to his parents because I know they’re funding his lifestyle. Theyve told me to get over it, Im a gold digger, I should give up custody of our son to him and just “f off from their lives” but I refuse to do that.
I cant just leave my son to be raised by his father (lets be honest, my baby daddy would just pawn him off on his parents and go back to his games)
Im yelled at every day about how I dont do enough & how Im a piece of shit mother, how I should have gotten an abortion (sometimes I agree with him on this because at least I wouldnt have brought my son into this).
there have been times where he refused to take no for an answer after Ive worked on my feet all day and the last thing I want to do is sleep with him.
Ive come back to our home and to our son covered in filth because his father has been glued to the play station all day.
Some I already feel like a single parent but still NOTHING I do is good enough. I want to be able to buy my son new clothing instead of used stuff from facebook or once upon a child.
I want to be able to buy myself something nice instead of all of my money going back into this crappyand dirty home Im paying way too much for.
I eat one meal a day to be able to afford my son’s formula. my baby daddy has told me he would “never pay child support” and that his parents would “bury me” in court when I tried to leave beforehand.
He doesnt care about our son, he just knows he can play his parents and use our son to get more money for his habits and his parents think their son is king.
I shouldnt be fantasizing about winning the lottery just to leave him and provide my son with the life he deserves and not this crappy one we are living.
Im only surviving because of how hard I work and what little my baby daddy’s parents provide. I shouldnt have to stay in this relationship just to survive these days. Im just so tired and over it all