My parents retired on next to nothing with no savings and have repeatedly all but insisted on moving in with me. Help!
I’m 39, have struggled to get out of poverty and deal with ongoing health and mental health issues. I’m finally in a pretty ok place, financially I can start to pay down debt.
I own my house, and will have my car paid off soon ish. Healthwise I spent money to work on myself in therapy and building an exercise plan to overcome some injuries and get to a better fitness level to reduce the impact of ongoing health issues. All while working full or more than full time (plus some volunteering).
I want to start dating again, I feel like I’m in a mostly solid place mentally and emotionally for the first time and would love to find someone to share life with and start building together.
I’m almost forty, so I’m late to that game. I’m sure many of you know how what that’s like. But I feel like I deserve a loving relationship, or at least the time and space to try. And if I ever want kids, that window is starting to close (even for a man, 40-50 is pushing it).
My dad was forced into retirement by covid. My mother hasn’t worked enough. They have living arrangements at $0 and they pay utilities.
They currently ask me and my sister for money for necessities in the hundreds of dollars monthly, and a few big expenses a year around $1000, every few years there’s a $3000ish emergency.
I expect more of this as aging related health issues accelerate. They both have health issues now that would make working difficult and likely impossible, plus they are older and mentally inflexible.
Learning any new skill is really out of the question. My dad may have very early indications of alzheimers, or is likely to.
My mom has mental health issues of her own, which are almost completely untreated. She’s part of the “therapy is witchcraft” brainwashed generation.
I know I would struggle to deal with her irrationality, mood swings, and relentless negativity if she were to live with me. Plus I work from home and really don’t have space, despite having a spare bedroom.
I want to help them, but I feel I can’t have any hope of a current or future life if I let them move in. I need to leave space for a potential relationship. I also need to keep working on myself (including health, with ongoing health issues it’s basically a part time job.