My head is all over the place right now so I apologise in advance if this doesn’t make a lot of sense.
I was engaged 6 years ago. We were living together but one day I went home to find all of his belongings gone and a note saying he was sorry and that he loved me so he was setting me free. I tried contacting him but he had blocked me on everything, I tried contacting his family and friends but everybody refused to tell me where he was or if they had even been in touch with him to make sure he was okay. It was the worst time of my life and it took me 2 years to feel like a semi-functional human being again.
Yesterday my dad told me we would have a guest for dinner so I should dress up nicely (I live with them now and have for the past 6 years). This isn’t unusual since my dad sometimes invites his associates/clients for dinner.
The guest was my ex. I was completely blindsided because I never expected to see him again and my dad absolutely hated him back when we were engaged (enough to disown me unless I broke up with him) so it made no sense that he would be inviting him for dinner. The longer he was there, the more it started making sense. My ex has changed a lot, now he’s the type of person my dad would respect and it was obvious my dad liked the new him a lot.
I tried really hard not to cause a scene but half-way through dinner I just lost it. I was crying a lot and demanding to know why he was here. My dad suggested the two of us talk privately so we went into another room.
The conversation we had was long but the short version is he left because he felt guilty for making me choose between him or my family and he could see I was unhappy that they had cut me off. He wants a second chance now that he’s back because he thinks things will be different now.
I don’t know what to do. Part of me has never stopped loving him but a huge part of me is scared to get hurt again. He is also so different now and I don’t know if things would be the same between us. I also know my dad was a big reason he left me in the first place, which I always suspected but it hurts having it confirmed.
Any advice?