Being a bridesmaid in Singapore
In May, one of my good friends (23F) approached a bunch of us and asked if we would like to be her bridesmaids. Just for context, we’re all fresh university graduates at that point in time. Some of us just started working while others were still looking for a job.
Anyway, we were thrilled and honored to be her bridesmaids. She suggested a few places to get our bridesmaid dresses (price range was around $60-100/dress) and accessories, as well as the color/theme she wanted. She also told us that everything would be on her.
A few months before the wedding, we started planning her bachelorette party. Initially, she wanted a short trip overseas/somewhere nearby (I’m assuming all expenses paid by us) but we had a hard time finding suitable dates where everyone would be free to travel. We eventually settled on treating her to a meal and activity of her choice.
At around the same time, she asked if we had gotten our dresses and told us to send her a picture of our dresses once bought. That was when we realized that she had changed her mind, and we would be paying for our own dresses and accessories. She chose the accessories, dresses she gave us a color/theme but we were otherwise free to get from anywhere.
I’m not too sure about the others, but I felt a little betrayed/annoyed but we went ahead with the bachelorette party anyway (all expenses paid by us).
Anyway, fast forward to the actual wedding in November, bride took back the gatecrash red packet after we were done taking all the gatecrash pictures and videos. Bride also did not give us any red packets at the end of the wedding. Grab rides to the various venues were on us.
She did, however, thank us in our Telegram group chat for our help but that was pretty much it. We all gave her a red packet for her wedding nonetheless (amount based on market rate).
One of the bridesmaid and I feel “used” and we can’t help but feel very annoyed/angry after the wedding. We’re not too sure how the other bridesmaids feel about everything but we don’t really dare to ask them for fear of being seen as stingy/petty.
This is our first time being bridesmaids and I am just wondering if this is the norm or am I being petty?
Edit: Thank you for the validation/comments. Just to add on, bride insisted on paying for all the expenses for her bachelorette party as well as bridesmaid accessories first because bride wanted her credit card points; and subsequently texted us to pay her back. We initially thought that she would be paying for her own share for the bachelorette party or something (since the dresses and accessories were already on us) but we were wrong, she just wanted the credit card points.
Edit 2: Bride texted in our group chat after the wedding and promised to give us a red packet for helping. It’s been a month now but we haven’t received anything. So this is definitely not ignorance. It’s not about the money anymore but her not keeping her “promises”.
Edit 3: I didn’t write my name on the red packet that I gave her just before the dinner banquet because I was too busy helping out – this is on me (not quite sure about the other bridesmaids or groomsmen). I just placed it directly in the angpow box at reception. Maybe that’s why she didn’t give us all a red packet for helping?