I resent my husband because he makes very little money.
Me(F37) and husband (38) have been married 10 years and have 3 kids. I have so much pent up resentment because he can’t and will never make enough money to meaningfully contribute to our home.
I’m the main bread winner and right now the only bread winner. We live modestly and we never go hungry but we live paycheck to paycheck.
With the cost of living skyrocketing and wages barely creeping up we have never been able to save much. Or we save and then some huge thing happens that depletes all our savings.
I have a degree and make ok money. Less than 80k a year and I’ll never make too much more. We live a simple life with few luxuries, second hand clothes, old car, no real vacations besides some camping trips or a drive to visit relatives.
When I met my husband I encouraged him to go back to school. He never believed in himself and didn’t feel he could do it. He’s worked crappy low paying jobs our whole marriage which is just enough to pay our daycare and maybe a few groceries.
Basically working so someone else can care for our kids. Also you can’t move up in these crap jobs if you don’t work yourself to the bone and put in 60 hours a week.
Which still left me supporting the whole family and doing all the work at home too since he was gone all the time. Then he had a health problem come up and his body could not handle it.
He’s not technically disabled but he can’t do those jobs anymore. There is nothing wrong with his brain. If he had a degree he could work in some professional field or other that doesn’t require wrecking your body.
But now he’s a stay at home dad until our youngest is in school full time because there’s no sense in him working to pay for daycare.
I love him and my kids but I did not want this. I did not want to basically support a whole family. I did not want to live paycheck to paycheck.
I don’t need fancy things or a lot of material things but I walk around with the stress of being the breadwinner all the time! I don’t even make that much to begin with.
Had he gotten SOME KIND of degree maybe he could actually make enough money to contribute to our home! Even just like a certification in something would give him more opportunities.
I get so jealous of my friends whose husband have professional jobs and make good money. I don’t want their material things or even their high income.
I just want their sense of security that their partner can contribute just as much as they can. Some cushion. Or even the ability to cut my hours a little or not have to pick up overtime.
Sometimes I regret marrying him. I’m angry that he didn’t listen to me when he had the opportunity to go to school and now look at the pickle we’re in.
I regret putting myself in this situation. I knew better but I did it anyway. Money doesn’t buy happiness but lack of money sure does lead to a lot of stress and unhappiness.