For a bit of background info- My boyfriend is 20 y.o we have been dating for about a year now. I have an extremely high s drive at all times. I always want to experiment, explore, and just have good s!
The problem is my boyfriend has manic hyper beast episodes where his libido is VERY high for about 2-3 weeks straight (usually higher then mine), then one day it just drops off the face of the earth and he is completely disinterested in doing it (he will get annoyed when i even mention doing it).
When this happens, i feel extremely used and starts to take a very large hit on my self esteem and confidence. All i can think is “what am i doing wrong” “is he not attracted to me anymore” “did i say something” etc. He makes me feel like i am a bad girlfriend if im not available to fulfill his s needs, but gets extremely upset when i say im unsatisfied.
everytime i bring this up to him he does 1 of three things. Brushes it off (“well what do you want me to do about it”), makes a joke out of it (“I just like to switch up the mood sometimes”), or gets annoyed saying “you cant for me to have s with you so i dont know why its such a big deal”
just like he said, I can’t force him to have s with me obviously, but I have no idea what to do when the switch happens because it’s extremely unexpected.
Am I being wrong for feeling like this? Am i doing something wrong? I hate to feel like someone, especially someone who im in love with, is feeling pressured to have s with me. I just feel like I have needs that arent being met, and it feels as if he doesnt care.
once his hyper beast episodes end, I am unaware of when we will have s again. this last one lasted about 3 weeks (still going on) and he only gets more annoyed when i bring it up. I feel like i try as hard as possible to keep his needs met (ive done things for him that i havent felt super comfortable with, but still did it because i knew it would make him happy) but when it comes to my sexual needs, i feel like im being gross, perverted, insensitive
for context he has no medical diagnosis, and i am probably one of the only people who know the extent of this problem.
If i am in the wrong here, please make me aware so that i can address it. Everything else in our relationship is good besides this issue.