Title says it all. My father is an ultimate scum, a wastrel and bane of society. I am not blaming SG culture for his actions, but SG culture does create generational trauma, perpetuates entitled parents and the scum of my dad’s behaviour.
Grew up with parents who didn’t want kids. Ended up with 2. I’m the eldest. We were middle class, both parents had good jobs, but father got retrenched.
Turns out this sucm had a massive debt, borrowed from loan sharks, and money from his siblings and my mother’s siblings. He’s always blaming his bad luck on someone and somebody. Asked my mum to steal money from her company ( which she didn’t but was so mad she quit her job). We had to move houses almost every 2-3 months to escape the loan sharks. I couldn’t remember what happened but she got blacklisted by banks so no credit card. He made her surrender her insurance policy so that she can give him cash. He had another woman for years. Comes home few days a week. Abuses my mother from time to time, punched her and left her. Temporary Blind. I saw him kicked her once
All while my mum supporting this family. House is hers, we grew up just 3 of us. Growing up, I barely spoke or had a proper relationship with this scum. He would order my sibling and I to make coffee or pack his clothes. My mum serves him like a servant. If we wanted big items like a xbox, we had to ‘seek’ his permission
I went to normal academic stream and he said I was an embarrassment, and I had no future. He said he was disappointed.
Fast forward to my 30s. He’s been periodically borrowing money from me, my sibling, his family and my mum’s family. Comes home and we barely talk but lives like a lord. Hogs the bathroom , living room. My bedroom became my solace. I hated coming home
He has affected my relationships and the way I view money. I have become an almost version of him, unfortunately. My mother becomes overly dependent and manipulative towards my sibling and I and I have been seeking therapy to deal with this shit and the problems he has caused
Decided to move out and this scum got triggered and threatened to hit me. Sibling and I had a showdown. Now I’m worried about my mother and sibling. Does not help that this society does not encourage independence and that it’s a good thing to live with your parents and take care of them for life
I can’t disown him. The freaking maintenance of parents act perpetuated entitle shits and scums like him. He’s capable of going to social media to shame me if I refuse to give him money. I can’t say no. It’s deeper and not easy to say no.
I hate him. I wish he’s dead. And, everyone says it’s bad karma to wish him that. How can you say that to your father. You are supposed to be a filial, etc. such a westernised view. I don’t even dare to have a kid because of what he has done.
One wonders why our population is declining. You can spew social policies all you want but I creating generational trauma is something real and scary here’s a scum to prove it