I (F26) had a Quarrel with bf (M28) about receiving money from family to take a ride home. Was questioned about my character:
Today my bf (28) and I (26) visited my aunt’s house together with my relatives, and by the time we wanted to head home it was raining very heavily. We wanted to take a grab but it was very expensive, and so we decided to take a bus instead.
Worried for us, my cousin gave us money for the taxi fare. We kept rejecting it but eventually I accepted it because I knew that it would be hard to reject her. And since we accepted the money, I thought we could just use this money to take a grab back rather than take public transport.
However on the way back home on the cab, my bf was looking very dissatisfied. I called him out and he told me that I shouldn’t have accepted money from my cousin, since we have the means to take a cab back. I agreed, but refuted that it was hard to reject since she kept pushing the money on to us. I told him that I would do something to pay her back next time. He then asked what I would do- to which I said I would either transfer her the money or just treat her to a meal.
Hearing that, he was still not very satisfied. So long story short, we got into a big argument about this after we alighted from the cab. He was not happy about how I changed my mind immediately from taking public transport to taking a cab after receiving the money. He felt strongly that it was not nice of me to receive money so readily from other people.
I was very defensive of his statement, partly because I do understand that it was something not right of me to do. I admitted that being the youngest in the entire family, I was very used to being treated and coddled upon and was very used to receiving favours from my family. Hence, athough I rejected the money a few times, once I accepted it, it was common sense to me to use it for taking the grab. However, I also told him that I am aware of how well my family treats me and since I do have purchasing power now, I did show appreciation for them in my own ways by treating them to meals or buying gifts for them.
After which, he proceeded to ask me if I would do the same to other non-family members if the same situation happens again. I was honestly really offended about this question. Because to me, taking advantage of my friends monetarily is something unthinkable. I am indeed shameless to accept favours from my family, but definitely not to the extent of accepting it from friends. So it made me feel very offended that he actually thought it was possible of me to do this to my friends. I also felt betrayed because after 4-5 years of being together, I thought he would have known me well by now. Does he have so little faith in my character?
I confronted him about this, and he told me that my behaviour in the situation with my cousin earlier made him question his beliefs about me. Although he trusts me, he still wants to ask me to make sure that his trust in me is right. But I am still unhappy about it. I still think he has no faith in my character. Am I just too sensitive and defensive?
Here are what netizens think:
You unintentionally bruised his ego, dearie. In front of your family, you portrayed him as incapable of affording a Grab ride home.