My husband has women outside and I can’t do anything about it.
I’ve been with my husband since I was a teenager.
He’s my first and only love. He comes from a rich background and I’ve grown used to him spending on me and buying me branded bags and other luxury items. I’m used to being pampered by him even though I came from a much modest background.
I married him not long after working for a few short years. I quit my job after getting pregnant. A fortune reader says I bring him luck and good fortune, so I was the perfect wife. He has started his own business and it has gotten better year after year. He is away most of the time due to work and I’ve accepted our living arrangement as he gives me a generous allowance and I have plenty of help at home.
He has made my life very comfortable in all ways possible. On the surface I had the perfect life. So it seems.
After my first child, I started to suspect something. I hired a PI and my suspicions were confirmed. It broke me. I was pregnant again at that time. I don’t know how did I managed to overcome that period of time before I came to the conclusion I must bear him a son to ensure I have a firm hold in this marriage. I suspect he cheated on me because I haven’t given him a son after having multiple pregnancies. If I had a son, he would turn around. After a few more tries, I finally had a son but he didn’t change his ways.
So I was wrong.
My friend who has a cheating husband encouraged me to stay in the marriage. Because by leaving, we lose out the most. I agree. How else can I afford my current lifestyle as a single mother?
For a time I was obsessed with the women he was seeing. Until my children started preschool and primary school. I seriously have no time to monitor his flings anymore as I was busy shuffling the children around school and tuition and enrichment classes. When I had some free time, I went shopping or hi tea or fine dining with my girlfriends. I also want to give my children the best so I continued this life.
I used to spend a modest amount a week. But it has since blown up to a few dozen k a week. I would visit mbs every week and buy outfits after outfits from the shops. During the starting of covid when everyone’s pockets are tight and friends are losing jobs, I was buying luxury watches and $2000 slippers in a few colors and tossing them out after the season is over. The more I spend, the more he didn’t stop me. I admit I spend to numb myself. It’s much better than the money going to some other woman. When you have so much money, it’s hard to have genuine friendships.
People either find you intimidating or find you trying too hard. So as a result I have just a handful of close friends. Mostly who can afford to dine at the same places as me.
Do I love money? Yes. My husband doesn’t talk about love anymore. And inside my heart I believe he does love me in his own way. The marriage I dreamt of didn’t turn out to be the way I wanted but i will accept it. It’s better than losing everything that I’ve invested my precious time in only to be poor. When I think about the other women, it still pains me. A Chanel jacket can numb the pain momentarily before I seek another purchase.
I wish my children never go through the same thing as me. I’m too used to money that’s why I’m trapped. You may find me laughable or a joke. I just want to vent. Any sane woman would want her husband to love only her. No amount of money can numb that fact away.