I (28m) have been dating my girlfriend (30f) for 2 months. I think we had a good relationship, she has a son (11m).
My girlfriend and I were good friends for a few years, we met through a mutual friend and so I haven’t spent time with her alone until 5 months ago.
I knew she had a son because she’s posted about him on Facebook, a few times. He has some sort of liver condition and was awaiting a liver transplant. it’s just him and his mom. I don’t know much about him, as my gf Is very reserved talking about her son.
I have a little sister (26f). I have always been closer to her than other siblings, considering we’re only a few years apart. when she was 11, we were fighting at school and she ended up fainting. She had to stay in the hospital for a few days to have some tests done, and she ended up being diagnosed with diabetes, not related to her death.
I think it changed the dynamic of our relationship a lot, because she was in hospital a lot more than other kids.
At the start of September, my gfs son started getting sicker, and it was the first time she ever opened up to me about his health conditions.
In early October my sister got into an accident. It was very sudden, and because she still lives near my parents they were heartbroken, and they don’t have any children apart from my sister and I, so I went to help them.
I Grew up in SG, and my sister and my family still live there, I live in America currently. For the funeral and to console my mum and dad, I decided to stay there for 10 days to help plan the funeral.
On my second day there, I got a call from my gf. She said her son had passed away during the night, I tried to help her the best I could even though I was already sad about the death of my sister. She said she wanted the funeral to be done soon, and that it would happen on the 6th day of my ten day trip. My sisters funeral was on the 8th and I wasn’t going to take two flights to there and two flights back in less than 2 days to go to both.
My gf got really upset, and said that I didn’t care about her son, and I was upset at her too becuase i had just lost my sister. She told me that her son thought of me like a dad, and I’d never met him so I told her I didn’t think of him like a son. She hung up angrily and we haven’t spoken since.
I’ll admit I was harsh telling her, and a grieving mother didn’t deserve that, however I don’t think I was wrong to push the idea of me being this kids dad.
All my mutual friends think I’m the A-hole for not going, and that I should’ve told her later, but she knows I’ve never met her son, and I wouldn’t ditch my sisters funeral to go to her sons. My friends though think I did the right thing and I wasn’t obligated to go to his funeral.
I don’t know what I should’ve done, I’m glad I went to my sisters funeral but I feel bad for how I told my gf as her sons never had a father figure in his life.