TLDR : Never had a single fight or argument with my wife in the duration of our relationship, and when people found out about it, 100% of the time, they’re salty about it, looks at it like its a myth, and tells me my relationship is fake or not genuine at all.
Long but doing my best to shortened it:
Yes, my wife and I, ever since we dated back in school days, now married with 4 kids, had never ever had any fights or arguments. Not even once.
We have disagreements, sure, but we tackle it with respect, humor, and love, instead of being argumentative saying things like “my opinion is better than yours” nonsense. We put logic over feelings anytime.
Before marriage, we didn’t contact everyday at all, and we’re really fine about it, because we have no obligation towards each other until marriage, but of course, we respect the boundaries, like don’t go fooling around with someone else etc. We don’t pick fights and have petty arguments about things like “me or your career” or “me or your friends” or “Why don’t you have time for me” etc. We simply have 0 time and energy to waste on such immature thoughts. We were both busy working up for our career back then. She was under housemanship and I was working real hard to be a software developer (new field for me that time). We both didn’t contact each other for weeks, up to a month. Yes, sometimes, I send a send a text or voice note when I can, and I’ll receive a reply days later, and it goes on like that for a long while. Yet, we both still give the best for each other on such circumstances. When we have the chance to meet up, it’s as if we fell in love for the first time again.
People tell me that after I get married to her, then I’ll get the “real deal” of arguments and fights with her. 15 years of marriage (Got married a lil early) and still not a single fight or arguments. We’re both always feel at peace, feel love, and happiness.
I don’t go around telling people my business about my relationship life, but, eventually people found out. Some of the usual comments I receive are :
“Your relationship is not genuine at all”
“Just wait, you will have a fight with her”
“I don’t think you married your soulmate. Probably just a roommate”
“Wow your relationship is boring”
“You and her probably cheated on each other before”
“No contact for few weeks? None of you love each other enough”
“Based on research, couple who often argue means they care for each more. I guess you and her don’t care enough”
Look, the reason why me and her gave our best to each other, to the point there’s no serious fights or arguments, is simply because both of us came from toxic broken families. Back then, my home with my family feels like a warzone when it’s supposed to be my safe place. Same goes for her. More than anything in the world, we just want to have peace and have a happy family. So when we found each other, I guess, silently, we vow not to be what our families are. After marriage, we cut ties with family members. Enough is enough.
Now, my home with her is my sanctuary. Everyday I got greetings from my children, from my wife, and of course, from my lovely cats we adopted. This, is the ideal family that we prayed for. This is my personal success. And I’m eternally grateful.
I’m not here to hate on anyone. But I take it that people who reacted negatively after finding out about how my relationship works, is simply jealous, and have the “if I can’t have it, then you can’t” mentality.
Nevertheless, I want to let you all know, if you’re determined enough to have a peaceful relationship with someone, you will find that someone that will reciprocate to that. You want change, then start with you.
Yes, a happy relationship and marriage exist. I wish the best for you all to find peace and be better. Don’t ever stop.