If you leave your pee on the toilet seat ONE MORE TIME I am going to mop it up with your pillow.
I am so tired of sitting on your pee in the middle of the night. I get it, you sit to pee because our bathroom is right next to our daughter’s room and you don’t want to wake her up. Makes sense!
But when you stand up without cleaning yourself off, you drip pee all over the toilet seat. You remember to clean it up more often than not, but when you don’t, you’re not the one to suffer the consequences!
I am the one that sits down at 2am, bleary-eyed and desperate to get back to bed, only to find one or both of my thighs now covered in your piss. Just clean it up! Your peen or the seat, whichever one! I don’t care how you do it!
I have asked you MANY times – just clean up before you leave. You’re all “oh nooo, did I forget? Ooooops” without ANY REMORSE AT ALL.
Meanwhile I have to mop your mess off my leg in the middle of the night. It’s cold. I’m tired.
You’re literally known to our family and friends as someone who is methodical, practical, thorough. You are praised for your work ethic and willingness to help others.
How about you methodically clean the seat? How about you help your wife NOT SIT ON YOUR PEE? And maybe worse, your sloppy D swinging around in the middle of the night also drops pee on our floors, so our bathroom often smells like crap.