In life, we often have things that are out of our control and things within our control. All we need to do is distinguish which issue belongs to which cat.
Parent is an example. We don’t get to choose who our parent is- some are lucky to be born a golden/silver spoon, while some had to learn life the hard way by going through many hardships just to get more comfortable in life.
While some may have had it easy to have a parent supporting them through different life stages, some may struggle to pay off debt accumulated through different life stages. So, if you are one of those who experienced hardship and resent your parent for not being a better provider, it may be easier/better to look at the amount of sacrifice they endured raising you as a child.
A well-to-do parent does not make one a good parent. Similarly, a less well-to-do parent does not make them a bad parent. Some less well-off parent works multiple jobs just to ensure they can provide their kids an equal opportunity as kids of the better off family. In contrast, some well-off parents cannot afford the time to spend with their kids simply because they are busy all the time because they are also compensating their time for their kid’s education and future.
I am saying this not because people who have encountered toxic parents don’t have the right to resent their parents but if you choose to forgo your resentment and look past the bad, you may find yourself in a happier place. And if you think about it, they don’t have that much time left in this world to be there with you. So count your blessing if you even have one to be there, nagging at you every day. Because I wish I did.