“Jane” and I have been together about 2 years and we are in our late 20s. She’s in the process of getting her diploma and She works at a hospital in the meantime.
I work in finance and have a pretty steady job that I like. We’ve lived together the past year and split things 50/50, along with having our own separate accounts. During Covid, Jane lost a bunch of shifts and was having a hard time paying for school along with the bills.
Her laptop broke and she couldn’t do school without it. She asked for help and I told her I didn’t like loaning money out, but I knew she needed these things. So I stepped up and paid for a new laptop, a few bill.
She knew this was a loan and she would need to pay it back. I’m very fiscally organized and have little funds set up for things (vacation fund, going-out fund, golfing fund etc). I decided to use my golf fund for this but explained to Jane that I planned on getting new clubs this year and needed to be paid back by the start of golf season.
To establish a timeline, I paid for her things in august and was expecting to be paid by February as that was when golf season starts around here.
It wasn’t an absurd amount of money, less than $1,500.
Well she’s hardly paid anything back. At first she made a couple “payments”. But this would just be her giving me $15 in cash and saying “use this towards my debt”. I started an excel sheet to track anything she gave me so I knew how much she still owed.
She found this to be offensive saying it was like I was “babysitting” her. I said that it wasn’t to be rude but just to track it so there wasn’t any arguments about it. I’ve sat her down multiple times to say that I needed to see some bigger more consistent payments being made because I needed to custom order my clubs and that takes months. And that I couldn’t order my clubs until I knew I had enough in my fund to pay for them.
She kept saying that she understood and that she would make the payments. She made a few larger payments but is still a grand short. What really ticks me off is Jane still goes out to eat all the time, goes shopping, buys things for our house.
But whenever I mention the debt she changes the subject saying “she’s working on it”. I finally snapped last weekend and told Jane I’m putting her on a payment plan. That I would break down the rest of her debt into weekly payments and would request the amount every week till I’m paid back.
And that I would have to use another fund to pay for the clubs as I can’t wait any longer to order them.
Am I wrong?