A 28-year-old Malaysian woman has opened up about the emotional toll of being constantly compared to relatives who have moved to Singapore in pursuit of better pay and career prospects. Despite earning a decent RM7,000 monthly salary and living comfortably on her own, she revealed that her parents still believe she’s falling short.
In an anonymous confession shared via a social media post, the woman shared that she enjoys her life — she’s single, financially stable, and loves her current city. But her parents don’t see that as success. For them, true success seems to lie across the Causeway.
This sentiment is becoming increasingly common in Malaysian households, as Singapore’s stronger currency, booming job market, and higher minimum wage continue to influence how families define success.
Parents Push Her Towards Singapore Jobs, Sparking Emotional Strain
According to the woman, her parents frequently urge her to seek employment in Singapore, pointing to relatives who have “settled down” in the Lion City with higher-paying jobs and seemingly more “secure” lives. While she understands their intentions come from love, the repeated comparisons are beginning to wear her down emotionally.
“They keep asking when I’ll move to Singapore. Every visit home feels like a lecture,” she wrote. The situation has made her dread family gatherings, as they often revolve around questions about her salary, career plans, and why she hasn’t made the move yet.
For context, her current RM7,000 salary (approximately S$2,000) may be above average in Malaysia, but to some parents, it’s still not comparable to what one could earn even in entry-level roles within Singapore’s competitive job market — especially in industries like tech, finance, or healthcare.
Choosing Stability Over Ambition — A Personal, Yet Misunderstood Path
The woman said she’s not against ambition, but she values her stability, familiarity, and the independence she’s carved out for herself. She enjoys her routine, loves her current city, and doesn’t feel the need to uproot everything for the sake of a bigger paycheque. Yet, to her parents, remaining in Malaysia feels like she’s “settling”.
“I’m not wasting my life. I work hard, I save, I live independently,” she wrote. “But to them, it’s like if I’m not in Singapore, I’m not trying hard enough.”
Many netizens resonated with her story, sparking broader conversations about generational expectations and how career success is defined. The idea that living and working overseas — especially in Singapore — automatically equates to success is a narrative that’s been ingrained in many Asian households.
Is Moving to Singapore the Only Path to “Success”?
The issue taps into a much larger discussion about what success really means. Is it a six-figure income, a condominium in Tampines, or simply living on your own terms — even if your salary doesn’t stretch into the “high income” bracket?
For Singaporeans, it also highlights how regional neighbours perceive opportunities here. With the strength of the Singapore dollar and abundance of jobs in sectors like IT, engineering, and finance, many Malaysians face pressure from loved ones to cross the border for work.
But not everyone wants the grind of city life, and for some, peace of mind and autonomy matter more than climbing the corporate ladder. High-income doesn’t always equate to high satisfaction.
Can Family Expectations and Personal Happiness Co-Exist?
As the only daughter, the woman shared she felt alone in navigating this emotional weight, which is why she turned to the internet to release her thoughts. “The more they push, the quieter I get. And the sadder I feel.”
Her story is a stark reminder that behind every “successful” Singapore-bound story, there are others who choose to stay — not because they’ve given up, but because they’ve already found what they were searching for.
So, must we always leave our comfort zones to be deemed successful? Or is success now something more personal and self-defined?
Have you faced similar pressure from family to move abroad for better pay? Let us know in the comments.