(37M) work in Finance. My life is basically a cycle of market openings, Bloomberg terminals, and back-to-back client calls. It’s a high-pressure corporate grind in the CBD, and by the time I commute back to my place in Jurong East, I’m usually mentally fried and just staring at the flickering lights of the MRT track.
A few months ago, I met someone—let’s call her “X.” She’s amazing. Smart, sharp-tongued, and works as a manager in a high-end lounge/nightlife spot in Orchard. We really, really like each other. There’s a genuine spark there that I haven’t felt in years. But guys, I’m starting to realize that in Singapore, sometimes love isn’t enough—you need to actually be in the same timezone.
We aren’t even “official” yet because we can’t even find the time to have the “talk.” Our lives are a perfect, tragic mirror of each other.
When I’m waking up at 7:00 AM to prep for the market open, she’s just getting into a private hire car to head home, exhausted from managing rowdy drunk VIPs and balancing club accounts. When I’m having my quick lunch at Raffles Place, she’s in deep REM sleep. By the time she’s putting on her makeup and heading to work at 8:00 PM, I’m usually just finishing up an OT session or crashing on my sofa at home.
The “Different World” vibe is real. I’m smelling like dry-cleaned suits and pantry coffee; she’s smelling like expensive perfume and nightlife smoke.
The worst part? Her job only gives her one off-day a month.
Because she’s in a management role in the nightlife industry, weekends are their busiest times. Public holidays? Forget it. So we have this one, precious 24-hour window every four weeks to actually be “us.” I usually have to burn my annual leave just to match her off-day, which usually falls on a random Tuesday.
We met up last week for our “monthly date.” We went to a quiet spot near Westgate just to stay close to my area so I could maximize the time. I looked at her across the table and realized I’m starting to forget the small details of her face because I only ever see her through a phone screen via Telegram video calls at 2:00 AM when I’m half-asleep and she’s on her supper break.
We want to move forward. We want to be a couple. But how do you develop a foundation when you’re basically pen pals living in the same country? I feel like we’re building a castle on sand. I’m worried that if we commit, we’re just committing to a life of loneliness together.
Has anyone here ever made it work with such a massive lifestyle gap? Do I ask her to find a “normal” 9-to-5, knowing she earns good money and loves her career? Or do I just accept that in this city, some people are meant to be together but the clock simply won’t let them?
I’m sitting here in my office looking at the CBD skyline, and for the first time, the “Singapore Dream” feels incredibly lonely.
TL;DR: I’m in Finance, she’s a nightlife manager. We live in different timezones despite both being in SG. One off-day a month is all we get. How to develop a relationship like this?