Bro, I really cannot take it anymore. I need to vent before I blast.
So today I come home after a grueling 12-hour shift. Legs aching, back stiff, eyes blurry from staring at the roads and dodging all the blind PMD riders. I just want to sit down, eat my packet cai fan, and watch some TikTok to decompress. Then suddenly, my wife walks into the living room like she just found a crime scene. She’s holding up one single strand of long, brown hair with a tissue paper, looking at me like I am some high-flying property agent caught doing funny business at Geylang.
She starts screaming, “Whose hair is this?! You cheating on me right? You bring woman go hotel during your ‘break’ right?!”
Wtf??? I was literally stunned like vegetable.
I tell her, “Hello, look at my face. You think I am Tony Leung is it? I drive Grab/Gojek full-time la! Every day easily 20 to 30 passengers jump in and out of my car. High-SES aunties, tertiary students, office ladies from CBD, clubbing girls from Clarke Quay… you think none of them got long hair? You think they don’t shed hair ah?!”
But no, she refuse to listen. She say the hair was on the front passenger seat. Ya, because sometimes when it’s peak hour and people pool, or when some couples ride and the guy sits behind, the lady sits in front! Or sometimes the passenger just prefers the front legroom! Every time they shift around, adjust the aircon, or brush their hair, things fall out. It’s normal science, right?
I clean my car every single night, vacuum the mats, wipe the seats, and spray Febreze until my hands numb just to get that 5-star rating. But human hair is like ninja, bro. Sometimes it gets static, sticks to the side of the seat, or hides in the seatbelt crack.
Now she is giving me the cold shoulder, slamming the kitchen doors, and threatening to check my GrabDriver trip history and Dashcam footage. Go ahead and check la! All you will see is me stuck in CTE traffic jam, talking to myself, and eating a squashed Gardenia bread for lunch.
Any fellow PHV drivers face this kind of nonsense before? How to convince a paranoid wife that a strand of hair is just a hazard of the job? Sian half die, work so hard to earn fares, come home still must face roadblock.