1. The Early Relationship and the Secret
The narrator started dating her ex-boyfriend while he was in his final semester at NUS. Six months into the relationship, he revealed he was a divorcee with an 11-year-old son. He and his parents pressured the narrator into keeping this a secret from her own parents. Hoping the son would not impact their relationship, she agreed to keep the secret.
2. Financial Help and Shared Milestones
Before they were engaged or married, the narrator loaned him approximately S$20,000 to pay off his university bank debts, a decision her parents supported without knowing his full background. Over the next two years, the couple was happy, traveling frequently and celebrating his graduation and subsequent employment as a civil servant with the Singapore Examinations and Assessment Board (SEAB). He also successfully sold his property in Johor Bahru (JB) to prepare for their future housing plans.
3. Wedding Conflict and Family Ultimatums
As they began discussing marriage, the narrator requested that his son not attend the wedding. She felt guilty about hiding the truth from her parents and worried the son might reveal the secret or cause stress on her wedding day. This request led to a major conflict:
- The ex-boyfriend’s mother humiliated and threatened the narrator, stating that neither she nor the father would attend the wedding if the grandson was excluded.
- Following this clash, the narrator confessed the truth to her parents, who responded generously, offering to accept the son as a “half-grandson.”
4. The Shift in Behavior and the Breakup
After receiving the proceeds from his JB house sale, the ex-boyfriend repaid the S$20,000 loan, but his behavior changed drastically. The narrator notes several turning points:
- He began taking her for granted, sidelining her to spend time with his son, including taking the son on a week-long holiday without giving her prior notice.
- He lied about being busy with work during weekends and on his actual birthday to spend time with his son instead.
- During a trip to Genting, a major argument occurred because he blamed her for not letting him drive them there in an underutilized, JB-registered car, despite being an unseasoned driver—an act the narrator felt risked her life.
Conclusion
Feeling deeply hurt, humiliated, and betrayed by her ex-partner and his family, the narrator ultimately ended the relationship. While she still misses and loves the “sweetheart” version of him from the first two years—who prioritized her safety and kept his family dynamics separate—she feels completely crushed that her love, support, and kindness were ultimately taken for granted.