Eh bros and sisters, I need to vomit out this story before I literally facepalm until my forehead bleeding. Why nowadays some guys the brain think until so simple one? Like their entire logic processing unit is stuck in some 1990s Mediacorp drama.
I got this cousin—let’s call him Jason, 26 years old, first job only earning maybe $3.5k a month. This fellow, since last year, his mouth never shut up about how he cannot find a girlfriend because Singaporean girls are “too materialistic” and only want guys with “wheels.” We tell him nicely already: “Bro, it’s not the car, it’s your face and your personality.” But no, he refuse to listen.
Two months ago, don’t know what kind of insurance agent or car salesman poison his mind. He went down to some second-hand car dealer and signed for a 7-year-old Honda Civic. Mind you, with the current ridiculous COE prices, even a second-hand Japanese bread-and-butter car installment easily hits $1.2k to $1.4k a month.
He proudly drove it to our family dinner, park at the HDB multi-storey carpark, and start to hao lian (boast) like he achieved the Singaporean Dream. “Now got car, very easy to fetch girls for staycation and cafe hopping. Standard upgrade already.”
Fast forward to this month.
Did he get a girlfriend? Lan jiao space. The only thing he fetched was his own shadow. Instead, the reality of car ownership hit him like a speeding MRT train.
Road tax expiry? Paid. Car insurance premium? Painful. Season parking at his block? Deducted. ERP every morning when he drive to CBD? Beep beep beep, your CashCard money fly away. Then the best part—the car engine start to make some funny keta-keta sound. Bring to workshop, the mechanic tell him need to replace the alternator and steering rack. Total damage? $1,800 cash.
Suddenly, our Alpha Male Car Owner become a total sotong. His bank account completely wiped out until dry like desert. He cannot even afford the monthly bank installment for the car loan. If he don’t pay, bank will repossess the car and his “babe magnet” will become a giant public embarrassment.
You know what this absolute legend did?
Last night during dinner, he literally knelt down in front of his 60-year-old mother—who is still working part-time as a clinic assistant—and started crying. “Mummy, can you lend me $3,000 first? If not the bank will take my car, then I cannot go data analytics networking events to find a wife.”
Wah lao eh! My jaw literally dropped until touch the floor tiles. Your mother work so hard, save her miserable CPF and cash savings for retirement, and you want her to subsidize your fake-rich lifestyle just so you can drive around pretending to be an influencer?
The mother, being typical soft-hearted Asian parent, actually sighed, went to her room, and brought out her passbook to transfer him the money.
Seriously, I cannot stand this kind of strawberry generation pattern. No money then don’t play big. Drive a car you cannot afford to attract girls who don’t exist, and end up making your own mother wipe your backside. Next time I see him driving that stupid Honda Civic, I am going to spit on the windscreen. Sibei pathetic.