Bro, I need to get this off my chest because I am literally traumatized. Today during lunchtime, my department was having a casual chat about inflation and saving money in Singapore. You know the usual—complaining about GST vouchers, BTO prices, and how cai fan with fish costs more than a GrabRide nowadays.
Then this one guy, let’s call him absolute psycho, chimes in with his “ultimate life hack” to save money.
He proudly announces that he hasn’t bought new underwear since 2017. Nine years, guys. NINE. YEARS.
At first, we all laughed, thinking he was joking. But no, his face was dead serious. He literally broke down his “rotation system” for us like he just invented a new Agile project management framework.
He said: “Today wear standard, tomorrow flip inside out and wear again. Repeat one more time, then only wash.”
Bro… WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL? Flip inside out?! This isn’t a reversible jacket from Uniqlo leh! This is the fabric directly touching your kuku jiao and sweat glands in 34°C humid Singapore weather! I felt my soul leave my body. Just thinking about the accumulated sweat, dead skin, and whatever bacteria hosting a national day parade down there makes me want to vomit my minced meat noodles. The waistband must be looser than a plastic bag from FairPrice. I cannot even imagine the structural integrity of that fabric. It’s probably holding on by pure thoughts and prayers at this stage. It’s not even underwear anymore; it’s basically a piece of ancient archaeology.
But wait, it gets worse.
Someone asked him what happens when the underwear eventually gives up and tears. You know what this financial genius said? He shrugged and said, “Then ‘Commando’ lor. Free airflow, save laundry detergent, save water bill. Win-win.”
I am completely speechless. This is not “frugal,” this is a biological hazard. You want to save money on water bill, but end up spending more on skin infection medication at the polyclinic for what? If you are sitting next to me in the MRT and I smell something funky, now I know it’s because you decided to go free-range or wear a 2017 relic. Please, if you can afford a $6 bubble tea, you can afford a 3-pack of Hanes. For the sake of Singapore’s public health, buy some new briefs, I beg you.