Standard disclaimer first ah: NOT ME. I am a wholesome, law-abiding citizen. This is about my secondary school friend who currently holds the national record for being the biggest clown in Singapore.
So this guy has a wife (obviously) and a xiao san (mistress) on the side. Don’t ask me why he want to play fire, some people just love to create unnecessary project management work for themselves. Anyway, a few of our mutual guy friends—who also know about his shady side business—were out having drinks with him and the xiao san recently. The girl was complaining that she hasn’t traveled in forever and really wants to go overseas to relax.
Because my friends are actually logical human beings, they told her, “Eh, then you just go with your own friends or do a solo trip lah! Go Taiwan or Japan, very safe one.”
Wah lao, when my friend heard this, he completely flipped his lid. He private messaged me yesterday night, absolutely seething with rage, typing in all caps like a siao lang. He was angry at our friends for “sabotaging” him.
His brilliant logic? If she goes overseas alone, he cannot follow her because he is terrified his wife will track his location, check his passport records, or realize he’s missing from Singapore. He’s scared to death of getting caught. But at the same time, because he is an insecure, selfish prick, he is deeply paranoid that if the xiao san goes overseas alone, she will go and find some foreign guy, hook up, and dump him.
So now he is trapped in his own self-made prison of anxiety, and somehow it is our friends’ fault for giving her the idea to travel?
I told him straight up: “Bro, you are the one choosing to play hidden object game in real life. You want to have a mistress, but you don’t have the balls to get caught, and you also don’t trust her? Then don’t play right?” He got even more triggered and called me unsupportive.
Honestly, the entitlement of some Singaporean men is next level. You want the thrill of a side chick, but you expect your friends to help you gatekeep her freedom just so your secret doesn’t blow up in your face? Your wife is the real victim here, and you are here stressed out over a holiday itinerary. Please lah, wake up your idea. Anyone else got friends with this kind of toxic, high-maintenance drama? I seriously feel like washing my hands of this whole friendship.