Wah lau eh, I seriously cannot with my friend already. I need to rant here before I completely lose my marbles. You know those people who try so hard to save money until their brain completely short-circuit? Yeah, my friend is the king of them. He is not those smart, financial-guru rich savers, okay? He is just pure, unadulterated cheapskate to the absolute max.
The absolute peak of his stupidity happened recently. This guy, don’t know which part of his brain think it’s a brilliant life hack, decided to save money on toothpaste by using SHAMPOO TO BRUSH HIS TEETH.
Yes, you read that correctly. Shampoo. The thing you put on your hair.
I asked him if he siao or what, and he actually proudly told me, “Bro, chemical is all the same what, both also soap, shampoo bottle so big can use for one year, toothpaste so expensive.” Brainless right? End up what? Now his teeth all completely spoil, jialat max. The chemicals stripped his enamel, his gums all inflamed, and he has like five cavities from all the hidden sugars or whatever structural damage he caused. Now he has to go dental clinic to do root canal and crowns. End up instead of spending $4 on a tube of Darlie, he now has to cough out $3,000+ for dental surgery. SingSaver also cannot save him from this kind of stupidity.
But this is just the tip of the iceberg. This fellow always tries to cheap out on absolute essentials, then end up having to pay double, triple, or even more. The “penny wise, pound foolish” poster boy. Here are a few other legendary examples:
- The S$10 Taobao Power Bank: He refused to buy a proper Anker or Xiaomi power bank because he found some no-brand unverified one on Taobao for ten dollars. First day using it, the thing overheated, bloated up, and literally fried his S$1,200 smartphone. He saved $20 on a power bank but had to buy a whole new phone.
- The “Botswana” VPN: He wanted to watch geo-blocked shows but didn’t want to pay for NordVPN or ExpressVPN. He went to download some shady, free, “open-source” VPN from some random forum. Within three days, his identity got stolen, his email got hacked, and someone used his credit card to buy S$800 worth of steam skins.
- The Botak Tires: His car tires completely bald already, wires showing. We told him to go change, danger on the road. He say, “Still can roll, can last another 6 months, shop outside cut throat pricing.” Next week, it rained heavily on the PIE, he skidded, hit the guardrail, and smashed his bumper. No insurance claim because his tires were illegal. Repairs cost him S$4,500.
I swear, observing his life is like watching a slow-motion car crash. He spends 90% of his daily energy trying to save 50 cents, only to open himself up to massive, thousands-of-dollars disasters. Anyone else got this kind of friend? How do you tell them to stop being so stupid without getting into a fight? Because right now, I just want to slap him with a tube of Colgate.