I got married very very recently, and on the first day of marriage I regretted it, because I feel that I married the wrong person.
Before the wedding, he would listen to his parents (mostly his mum) and follow what they tell him to, but always forgets mine or ignores my words. I have to repeat myself multiple times, for him to not remember what I said, yet took his mum once for him to act on it immediately.
I regretted on my wedding day because I saw how he was still glued to his parents on my wedding, I was eating at the table but he and his parents were in a very loud discussion about which guests did not attend (which to be honest is so unimportant and I didn’t feel the need to address it on the spot, because so what if you know which guests are absent? There is nothing you can do on the spot, but the food will get cold and you will miss absorbing your very only wedding atmosphere).
After table to table photo taking, I went around to chat with my family, relatives and friends, and after that I would see him standing beside his mum for 10-ish minutes talking to a particular relative, but it was just his mum talking and him standing beside listening for the full convo, not knowing that I walked past him. I felt lonely on my wedding day.
Whenever I got angry, he would be even angrier and even mentioned ‘divorce’ within the first 2 weeks of marriage. I told him multiple times I am angry because he doesn’t listen to me, but his defense was that he does listen to me but I can’t see or feel it.
After wedding, I’ve been feeling lonely, because we don’t have a shared interest. I share cute photos and videos of my newborn nephew with him, yet he lost interest within 8 seconds and continued scrolling TikTok. I also have no interest in the TikTok contents he is watching because I am more invested in my own kin. I used to entertain him and watch through all the TikTok videos he sent me before, but not anymore. We would lie on bed and use our phones in silence at night. And we don’t even give other kiss anymore after getting married, I remembered but he wouldn’t even bother to kiss. We don’t even hold hands in public for long anymore, he’ll unknowingly wiggle his hands out of mine so he can use his phone all the time.
To be very honest, I feel like I love and care for him more than he does to me, he is more invested in himself, always seeking validation in his dressing and looks but when it’s my turn, he just makes very sweeping statements and then want the attention back at him.
I am quite tired of initiating anything with him now, be it kissing or hand holding or conversations, because I feel he won’t do it himself because I keep initiating it, and he won’t feel value adding to the relationship if I do or not do it. I don’t know what I’d want to do if I move past this phase, and want to fix our relationship. I doubt he will want to go counselling too because he rejected that idea before our marriage.