As a 30-year-old (single), I’d really appreciate hearing from people who have already gone through the journey of marriage and building a family. I know everyone has their own timeline, so I’m not trying to compare myself with anyone. It’s just that… life feels so expensive nowadays. With the rising cost of living.
I’m curious to hear your thoughts, advice, or even regrets. If you could go back to when you were single and between 26–30 years old, what would you tell your younger self?
For context, I believe in a partnership where both people contribute and support each other through life’s highs and lows. I’m a female, and I don’t expect my future husband to shoulder everything financially. I believe marriage is about building a life together.
1. How much savings do you think is reasonable before considering marriage?
I know many people aim to have around $100k saved by the time they turn 30. But once you get married, buy a home, renovate it, and eventually have children, it almost feels like you’re starting from scratch again.
2. For those who did spend a large portion of their savings on these milestones, did it make you feel financially insecure?
Was it difficult seeing your savings decrease after working so hard to build them up? Did you naturally start spending less on yourself and prioritizing your partner or children instead? If so, did that feel like a sacrifice, or did it bring a different kind of fulfilment?
I also can’t help but be influenced by some of my single colleagues. They seem to have so much freedom — they can travel, spend on themselves, and enjoy life without the financial and emotional responsibilities that often come with marriage and children. My teammate told me too, ever since the birth of his son, his wife & him are always tired from lack of sleep.
At the same time, I genuinely hope to build a family one day. I also want to be financially responsible because I’ve often heard that financial stress is 50% of conflict in a marriage. Once this 50% portion is resolved, a marriage is more likely to be sustainable because like TV Dramas always say “Quarrel either over money or infidelity”
So I guess I’m just hoping to hear different perspectives from people at different stages of life! Looking back, what do you think is “enough”? What lessons did you learn about money, marriage, and building a family that you wish you’d known in your late 20s? With love 