For context, I (27F) have been dating my ex for three years. Normal guy, working a decent corporate job, but my parents never liked him because he couldn’t afford a resale flat in Central immediately and didn’t drive. My mum literally called him “no prospective.”
Last year, my parents introduced me to “Marcus” (31M). My mum’s friend’s friend’s son. Supposedly a “successful tech entrepreneur” and “very humble.” He drove a BMW, wore Rolexes, and always picked up the tab at expensive restaurants like Monti or Cut. My parents were completely blinded. My mum kept nagging me everyday: “Look at Marcus, so stable, high SES! You stay with him sure happy one.”
Under immense pressure from my family (including the classic guilt trips of “we raised you so hard, you want us to lose face in front of relatives is it?”), I broke up with my ex and got married to Marcus earlier this year. We did the whole lavish wedding at a 5-star hotel in Orchard. My parents were smiling until their ears.
Fast forward to three months into the marriage.
I asked him about starting our BTO/resale application or looking for a permanent place since we were living in a rented condo. He kept dodging. Then last week, letters started coming in. Letters from banks, lawyers, and debt collection agencies.
I confronted him, and the entire house of cards collapsed.
Turns out:
- His “tech business” failed two years ago and is currently in liquidation.
- He is officially bankrupt.
- The BMW? Rented. The Rolexes? High-grade fakes from JB.
- The lavish dates and our entire hotel wedding? Paid using multiple credit cards under his company’s remaining balance, line of credit, and money borrowed from licensed moneylenders.
- He literally owes close to half a million dollars across different creditors.
His strategy was literally to marry someone with a clean credit history (me) so we could buy property under my name or get loans using my salary. He thought once we got married, I couldn’t just walk away easily.
When I went back to tell my parents, crying and showing them the letters, you know what my mum said?
“Aiyoh, marriage is like that one, must go through thick and thin. You help him clear a bit first lor, he got ambition what!”
I cannot even. They forced me into this trap because of their own face, and now that the “rich guy” is actually negative net worth, they want me to stay and tank his debt?!
I’m already consulting a divorce lawyer to look into annulment based on misrepresentation/fraud or just filing for divorce directly. I don’t care about the stigma anymore. Guys, please, NEVER let your parents dictate who you marry just because someone looks high SES on the surface. Now I lost a good ex, my peace of mind, and my parents are still worried about “what relatives will say.”
TL;DR: Parents emotionally guilted me into marrying a supposed rich guy. Found out post-wedding he is bankrupt, sports car is rented, watches are fake, and he owes half a mil. Mum now asks me to help him pay debt to save face.