A netizen sends in an email wanted to express his thoughts that he has kept in him for years and wanted us to share this story so that others will not make the same mistake as him.
Here is the story:
3 years ago, I joined a company and was still single. Life was normal, I was not interested in anyone. Until 3 months later, a new girl joined the company and caught my eye. Shortly after I realized that she was already married and I did not take any action.
We casually chat as colleagues but some of the messages were quite flirtatious. During that period I got a girlfriend and later got married. But what happened next was the biggest regret of my life.
I have a plain normal marriage and saying “I love you” till it became meaningless and even bedtime activities got into a routine. A routine that wasn’t ‘planned’ by me. It more of a thing that happened after continuous pressure from my wife.
(Wife = wife, girl = the girl that joined the company.)
This year, I found out that girl had just given birth and I felt that I never had a chance. My fight or flight instincts kick it. It was a ‘fight’
We had our first ever date behind my wife’s back, she did it behind her husband’s as well. It was really casual and we had a few drinks bring her around and we went home.
We had one or two dates later, now we are on an everyday chatting basis. I hinted a few times that I told her I was interested in her. In normal cases, a girl would back off. But she did not and we carried on our daily chats. Time has really told me who I really want to be with. I tried ignoring her by stopping myself from texting or conversing with her but the text messages still came in, I would only reply if she texted.
It seems like she wants to continue this kind of flirting relationship with me and have no intention of furthering the relationship. Whenever a moment comes by, she would stop it from further developing. So I assume she doesn’t want it. Some of my friends said that she might be scared to further the relationship.
I’m in a lost situation right now. What is done is done. I know my chances of wanting her to give up everything that she already has is slim, especially now that she has a kid.
My close friends question how much I really like her, My reply was I’m willing to even take care of the kid as my own and give up everything I have now. Yes, even my wife. This sounds selfish of me, but is it selfish to look for true happiness? I might never see the light at the end of the tunnel, but I’m willing to go through it.
I don’t want this to be just another typical office scandal. I’m truly madly in love with her.
Question is… Is she willing to take it and travel through the journey with me?
A few weeks before Valentine’s day I asked her out and she said ok, later on she told me that it’s a misunderstanding and we should not be celebrating Valentine’s day since we are not together.
But I have already prepared the gift for her, she did not want to accept it but she still did. It was a real rose preserved with 24K gold its a bit expensive but I think it’s special.
She eventually accepted the present and went home. She told me that she love it so much. I wrote a card to her telling her that although we are friends I’m happy I know her and wished to have more memories with her.
2019
Fast forward to Feb 20th 2019, she told me we were more than friends and she knew about how i felt all along
Its April 19 2019, I’m back again to update our relationship.
Few weeks back on the 20th of March I felt a bit lost after my business went down and she knew that I was in bad shape and said she wanted to give me a hug. But by the end of the day, I did not hug her as both of us were too shy to do it. The next day I was going for a hair cut and she was also going to the same location so I gave her a lift.
I knew I should stop being such a wuss and I hug her right outside the barber in the mall. She was shocked and I whisper to her. “You’re not going to hug me back?” She did. she was so shy and ran off shortly to meet her friends.
I was in a daze as I never felt like this with anyone before. It was true happiness for her to be in my arms.
I told her I missed her and wants to see her, she said why not print out our photos and put it in my wallet. This was actually the second time she mentioned it and I actually went ahead and do it.
Another day passed we did not talk about it. I went to print our photos and she went for dinner alone near our office. She told me that she’s a bit disturbed that one of our colleagues claims that we are together. But she was smiling while ranting it to me. I knew the day has come.
While I was sending her back, I showed her the photos and I actually printed 2 sets of the photos.
Just went she was about to step out of the car, she sat back down and asked me for a hug. I kissed her on the cheek for the first time.
The following Monday on the 25 of March was the day things happened. I asked her out to have a drink with me at a KTV near our office. After a few drinks both of us got abit tipsy and we started making out in the KTV room. Later on she got so drunk and I brought her into my car to rest. We continued making out all the way from the KTV to her home. I did not remember what happened clearly, and I realised from the video footage of my car we made out over 12 times.
The next day i asked her what our relationship is. She said we are together.
Eventually, the relationship could not continue as both of us are married and her husband found out but eventually forgave her, she is still happily married today and i’m divorced and remain single since.
The marriage I had was never a marriage out of love it was out of convenience.
2020
We met up one last time on Chinese New Year Eve in 2020 as we did not end it properly and eventually we did it one last time, during that period she was stuck in Singapore due to covid and months later she returned to Malaysia to give birth. No way the baby is her husband’s as the husband was in Malaysia and I was in Singapore giving her my “seeds”.
We no longer talk today, She posted the photos of a child on Facebook after she gave birth and it was obviously mine. Every single male baby born in my family were born with a full head of thick hair. I did not question her if the baby was mine and neither did she tell me to take responsibility.
It will be the biggest secret and the last secret we will carry to our grave.
2022
I’m still single, nothing interests me anymore.